These are really bad.
Also from Bud
Did You Hear??
* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old
was resisting a rest.
* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left
side was cut off? He's all right now.
* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round
table was Sir Conference.
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
* When fish are in schools they sometimes take
debate.
* The short fortune teller who escaped from
prison was a small medium at large.
* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
* A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement.
He became a hardened criminal.
* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could
be charged with stalking.
* We'll never run out of math teachers because
they always multiply.
* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L
A.
* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard.
He did a number on it.
* The professor discovered that her theory
of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
* The dead batteries were given out free of
charge
* If you take a laptop computer for a run you
could jog your memory
* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and
nail.
* What's the definition of a will? (It's a
dead giveaway)
* A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like
a banana.
* A backward poet writes inverse.
* In a democracy it's your vote that counts;
in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
* A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
* If you don't pay your exorcist you can get
repossessed
* With her marriage she got a new name and
a dress.
* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft
and I'll show you A-flat miner
* When a clock is hungry it goes back four
seconds
* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine
was fully recovered.
* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France,
resulted in Linoleum Blown apart
* You are stuck with your debt if you can't
budge it
* He broke into song because he couldn't find
the key.
* A calendar's days are numbered
* A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours,
and 'taint mine
* A boiled egg is hard to beat
* He had a photographic memory which was never
developed.
* A plateau is a high form of flattery.
* Those whom get too big for their britches
will be exposed in the end.
* When you've seen one shopping center you've
seen a mall.
* When she saw her first strands of gray hair,
she thought she'd dye.
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to
know basis
* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses
* Acupuncture: a jab well done. |