TRIVIA:
QUOTES:
CHUCKLES/BELLY LAUGHS & GROANERS

TRIVIA:
Baseball...
In addition to the American League and the National League, the following five baseball leagues (now defunct) are generally considered by most baseball historians to have been major leagues:

1871 ... National Association of Professional Baseball Players, to 1875
1876 ... National League, formed to replace the National Association
1882 ... American Association, absorbed by the NL in 1891
1884 ... Union Association, folded after one season
1890 ... Players League, also folded after just one season
1901 ... American League, formerly the Western League, a minor league in 1900
1914 ... Federal League, a minor league in 1913, folded in 1915

Official post-season play-offs were held from 1884 to 1890, between the National League and the American Association, and the modern-day World Series began in 1903.

1. Before becoming the Milwaukee Brewers in 1970, what was the franchise named?
      Buffalo Bisons
      Seattle Pilots
      Louisville Colonels
      Washington Senators

2. The Twins were seen in Minnesota in 1961. Which team were they the season prior?
      Washington Senators
      New York Metropolitans
      Texas Rangers
      Philadelphia Athletics

3. In the 1953 season, the 2004 Baltimore Oriole franchise was called what?
      Baltimore Orioles
      Milwaukee Brewers
      Baltimore Lord Baltimores
      St. Louis Browns

4. Before becoming the Los Angeles Dodgers in 1958, the franchise was named the Brooklyn Dodgers. What was their franchise name immediately prior to that?
      Brooklyn Atlantics
      Brooklyn Robins
      Brooklyn Grooms
      Brooklyn Grays

5. The infamous New York Yankee franchise shined in the 20th century. What was the franchise called in 1912?
      New York Mets
      New York Highlanders
      New York Giants
      The franchise was always named the Yankees

6. In 1967, the 2004 Oakland Athletic franchise was called what?
      Kansas City Athletics
      Boston Bees
      Philadelphia Athletics
      They were always the Oakland Athletics

7. Before becoming defunct in the American League, the Washington Senators were named what, before becoming the Senators?
      Toledo Blue Stockings
      Kansas City Cowboys
      Rochester Broncos
      They were always the Senators

8. From 1891-2004, the Pittsburgh franchise has been a consistent one named the Pirates. What was the franchise called from 1882-1890?
      Pittsburgh Alleghenys
      Providence Grays
      Pittsburgh Bisons
      St. Louis Maroons

9. The 2004 Anaheim Angels began their franchise named what?
      St. Louis Browns
      They were always the Anaheim Angels
      Seattle Pilots
      Los Angeles Angels

10. Before becoming the Houston Astros, what was the team called?
      Houston Shooters
      Houston Texans
      Houston Colt .45s
      Houston Quick Draws
 

Answers: 1.   Seattle Pilots 2.   Washington Senators 3.   St. Louis Browns 4.   Brooklyn Robins 5.   New York Highlanders 6.   Kansas City Athletics 7.   They were always the Senators 8.   Pittsburgh Alleghenys 9.   Los Angeles Angels 10. Houston Texans

QUOTES:

"The trouble for most people is that they don't decide to get wealthy, they just dream about it."
-- Michael Masterson

Next in importance to freedom and justice is popular education, without which neither freedom nor justice can be permanently maintained.
--James A. Garfield

The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous.
--Shana Alexander

It is not worth an intelligent man's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.
--G.H. Hardy

Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
--Unknown

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
--Sir Winston Churchill

People are lonely, because they build walls instead of bridges.
--Unknown

"The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary."
- unknown -
 

 
 

CHUCKLES & BELLY LAUGHS:

Department Baseball  This one from Good Clean Fun via Bud Casselberry. An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing department and the support staff of one company. The support staff whipped the marketing department soundly. To show just "how" the marketing department earns their keep, they posted this memo on the bulletin board after the game: "The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the 2006 Softball Season, we came in 2nd place, having lost but one game all year. The Support Department, however, had a rather dismal season, as they won only one game."

 
 

Flies on a Log : Bill Hamm sent this one to Bud and it is cute. Beth Vorhees of public TV fame said her daughter, Diana, a third-grader, was to give a demonstration speech at school. She planned to demonstrate how to make "Flies on a Log" which consists of peanut butter spread on a stalk of celery with raisins on it. The morning of her speech, Diana took out everything she needed and put it on the kitchen counter, ready to take it to school. Unfortunately, when the girl and her mother left for school, they forgot to take the items. Diana's mother dropped her off and went home to get the stuff. The celery was gone.  The raisins were gone.  The peanut butter had been put away. "Oh," said Diana's father.  "I had that stuff for breakfast." Diana's faithful mother rushed to gather up more ingredients and rush them to school with an apology to the teacher and an explanation of what happened. "Gee," said Diana's teacher, "that's a first -- 'My dad ate my homework.'"

 
 

The following from Irishrose, Rosemary Bednarczyk. A Photographer for CNN was assigned to cover southern California's wildfires last year.  He wanted pictures of the heroic work the firefighters were doing as they battled the blazes.  When the photographer arrived on the scene, he realized that the smoke was so thick it would seriously impede, or even make impossible, his getting good photographs from the ground level.  He requested permission from his boss to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and he used his cell phone to call the local county airport to charter a flight.  He was told a single engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.  Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.  He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, "Let's go". The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and roared down the runway.  Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, "Fly over the valley and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures of the fires on the hillsides." "Why?" asked the pilot.  "Because I'm a photographer for CNN," he responded.  "And I need to get some close-up shots." The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, "So, what you're telling me, is you're NOT my flight instructor???"

 
 
 

Phil and Tess sent this one to Bud Casselberry. Team owner Jeffery Lurie had put together the perfect team for the Philadelphia Eagles.  The only thing missing was a good quarterback.  He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl victory. One night while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Iraq.  In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Iraqi soldier with a truly incredible arm.  He threw a hand-grenade straight into a window from 80 yards away.  He then threw another from 50 yards down a chimney, and finally hit a passing car going 80 miles per hour.  "I've got to get this guy!" Lurie said to himself "He has the perfect arm!" He brings the young Iraqi to the States and teaches him the great game of football ...sure enough the Eagles go on to win the Super Bowl.  The young Iraqi is hailed as a hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl. "I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says.  "You deserted us. You are not my son." "Mother, I don't think you understand," pleads the son, "I've just won the greatest sporting event in the world!" "No!  Let me tell you," his mother retorts, "At this very moment there are gunshots all around us.  The neighborhood is a pile of rubble.  Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses then tearfully says, " I will never forgive you for making us move to Philadelphia!"

 
 

Subject: New Supermarket A new supermarket opened near my house.  C. Wayne Wert sent this dandy. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.  Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn. I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

 
 
 

Hmmm!!  A lot of truth in this cutie from Dodie to Bud. Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, 157 years ago? California became a state. The state had no electricity. The state had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. So basically it was just like California is today.......except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.

GROANERS:
 

This one from Good Clean Fun and Bud too. Leaning Slightly I have this friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. It used to bother me, so I suggested he see a doctor, and have his legs checked out.  For years, he refused ...  told me I was crazy. But last week, he finally went, and sure enough, the doctor discovered his left leg was 1/4 inch shorter than his right. A quick bit of orthopedic surgery later, he was cured, and both legs are exactly the same length now, and he no longer leans. "So," I said, "You didn't believe me when I told you a doctor could fix your leg." He just looked at me and said, ...  "I stand corrected."

 
 

Herb Budinger sent this groaner. The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

 
 

King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash Bud sent this one too. after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , the most valuable diamond in the ancient world.  Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it." "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested.  "Don't you know who I am?  I am the king!" Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."

 
 

Dinner Club  A story... You will really groan on this one.   Myron Musser gets the credit but Bud had the courage to send it. A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize.  As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors' house each month. Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the dinner at their house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over. A few days before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak.  When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted to pay.  She then told her husband, "We aren't going to have mushrooms because they are too expensive." He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms?  There are plenty of them right in the creek bed." She said, "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison." He then said, "I don't think so.  I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them." After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some. She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful.  She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty.  Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite.  All morning long, Susie watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.  The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady from town to come out and help her serve.  She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head.  It was first class. After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and socialize.  The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit.  About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Susie's ear.  She said, "Mrs.  Brown, Spot just died." With this news, Susie went into hysterics.  After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of it.  I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there.  We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach.  Everything will be fine.  Just keep them all there and keep them calm." It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.  When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. The doctor arrived shortly thereafter.  One by one, they took each person into the master bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach.  After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now, and he left." They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped!!

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