TRIVIA:
QUOTES:
CHUCKLES/BELLY LAUGHS & GROANERS

TRIVIA:
Father's Day Trivia
    * Sonora Louise Smart Dodd, of Spokane, Washington, started the tradition of Father's Day in the honor of her dad.
    * First local Father's Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910, in Spokane, Washington.
    * In 1916, US President Woodrow Wilson approved the idea of observing an annual Father's Day.
    * In1924, President Calvin Coolidge made Father's Day a national event.
    * In 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day.
    * Father's Day is the fifth most popular card-sending holiday, with an estimated $100 million in card sales. Husbands, grandfathers, uncles, sons and sons-in-law are honored as well as father.
 

The flag should be displayed on all days, especially:
New Year's Day, January 1
Inauguration Day, January 20
Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, third Monday in January
Lincoln's Birthday, February 12
Washington's Birthday, third Monday in February
Army Day, April 6
Easter Sunday (variable)
Mother's Day, second Sunday in May
Armed Forces Day, third Saturday in May
Memorial Day (fly flag half-staff until noon), the last Monday in May
Flag Day, June 14
Independence Day, July 4
Labor Day, first Monday in September
Constitution Day, September 17
Columbus Day, second Monday in October
Navy Day, October 27
Veterans Day, November 11
Thanksgiving Day, fourth Thursday in November
Christmas Day, December 25
and such other days as may be proclaimed by the President of the United States
the birthdays of States (date of admission)
and on State holidays

Flag Care
Here's how to keep your flags looking their best.
1. Protect your flag from exposure to storms, snow or abnormally high winds, as these adverse conditions can shorten its life. If your flag should become wet, let it dry completely by spreading it out. Never roll or fold your flag when it is wet or damp as this can also damage the fabric.
2. Clean your flag regularly to keep the fabric looking new. Your flag can be hand-washed with warm water and mild soap, then thoroughly rinsed and spread out to air dry. Do not let the flag stand in the wash water for extended periods of time or some color transfer may occur from the red stripes to the white stripes.
3. Determining where to hang your flag is also important. Do not fly the flag where it will come in contact with tree limbs, buildings or cables. When the flag is flying, hitting such an object could cause a tear in the material. Even a small tear could result in the flag becoming tattered. Inspecting your flag for any small tears or signs of wear can prevent a small problem from becoming a big problem. If you notice a tear or wear at the end of the flag, trim and re-hem the end, and your flag will be ready to fly again.
Additionally, you may choose to treat your flags with a fabric protection product like 303 Fabric Guard®, which waterproofs fabric and protects it from UV rays, mildew and soiling.

QUOTES:
"Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!"
--Oscar Wilde

"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." William James

"In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing."
--William Wordsworth

"There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know."
--Ambrose Bierce

"I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball."
--Gerald Early

"Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical."
--Yogi Berra

"There are a lot more important things in life than baseball. I just haven't found out what they are yet."
--Marty Schupak

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher."
--Ambrose Bierce

"The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more."
--Max Kauffmann
 

CHUCKLES & BELLY LAUGHS:

The following set of cuties came from Bob Casselberry via Bud Casselberry. I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes." ~~~~~ At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us, "Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make." ~~~~~ Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend' s house. Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake." "No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking." ~~~~~ Aspire to inspire before you expire. ~~~~~ My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine ~~~~~ As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's." ~~~~~ Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. ~~~~~ Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting. ~~~~~ The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you 're not going anywhere. ~~~~~ God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

 
 

A Sample of political spinning  This one from Dodie to Bud Casselberry.  (This sample kinda picks on the Clintons) Judy, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, a fellow  lacking in  character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in  Montana  in 1889. The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the  gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: "Remus Rodham; horse  thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the  Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and  hanged in 1889." Judy emailed Hillary Clinton @NY. Gov for comments.  Hillary's staff of  professional image adjustors cropped Remus's picture, scanned it,  enlarged the image, and edited it with image processing software so that  all that's seen is a head shot. The accompanying biographical sketch is as follows: "Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business  empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and  intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in  1883, he  devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility,   finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the  renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during  an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon  which he was standing collapsed."

 
 

Bankrupt  This one from Just For Grins.  This happens and isn't so funny then. A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee's pay. She said, "My last employer had full health coverage, as well as, five years salary for life insurance and a month's sick leave and they paid the full premiums." "I can't help but asking madam, why you would leave a job with such benefits," the interviewer replied. The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, "The company went bankrupt."

GROANERS:

Second Try  Bud Casselberry used this one. Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days.  Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.  By 7 p.m. things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just got home, and start all over again.  My wife agreed.  I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm home!" "And just where have you been?" she replied sharply.  "It's after seven o'clock!"

 
 

Here are a bunch of groaners sent to Bud from Dr Bill Hamm. After reading you will want to STAY ALERT!  They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE!!! IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef? - - -  Yep...From Kansas City _____________________________________________ IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,!  "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham _____________________________________________________ IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS ___________________________________________________ IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments. ________________________________________ IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less. ____________________________________________________ IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door.  As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey,"I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

 
 

A Successful Robber:   Another Dr Bill!!  Oops no pun intended there. An FBI agent was talking to a bank teller after the bank had been robbed by the same bandit for the third time. The frustration was creeping into the agent's voice as he asked, "Did he have any distinguishing features, like a scar or tattoo?" "Nope," answered the teller. "Was there anything about him that you noticed this time...ANYTHING that might help us find him?" "Wait, I know!" the teller exclaimed. "Yes, go on..." "He seems to be better dressed each time," the teller replied.

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