TRIVIA QUOTES CHUCKLES/BELLY LAUGHS & GROANERS
TRIVIA Cheers -- There is one of these in every town and every regular imbiber's life. (Someday I'll tell you about mine.) Cheers was a comedy series about a bar with a colorfull cast of regulars. The main charachters are Sam Malone, the owner of the bar and a retired baseball player; Dr. Frasier - the "resident psychiatrist" who frequents the bar and could often use a little analysis himself; Norm - a semi-professional beer drinker and Cliff - a thirtysomething mailman who still lives with his mother. To get away from their "hum-drum" lives, they all come to the bar where "Everybody Knows Your Name".
Cheers Cast: Ted Danson ................ Sam Malone Shelley Long .............. Diane Chambers Rhea Perlman .............. Carla Tortelli LeBec Kirstie Alley ............. Rebecca Howe * Woody Harrelson ........... Woody Boyd * George Wendt .............. Norm Peterson Nicholas Colasanto ........ Coach Pantusso John Ratzenberger ......... Cliff Clavin Kelsey Grammar ............ Frasier Crane * Bebe Neuwirth ............. Lilith Sternin * * Not in picture
Sam Malone was originally supposed to be a retired football player on the tv show, but when the tall thin Ted Danson was cast for the role, they changed it to a retired baseball player.
The stage at Paramount studios where the series' episodes were shot is the same one where the spinoff series "Frasier" is now filmed.
Remember the episode where Sam & Diane stop their wedding ceremony at the last minute? In order to keep that ending a secret, they shot a different ending in front of the studio audience where they actually got married. This deception was to hide the fact that Shelly Long was leaving Cheers.
Kate Mulgrew (Captain Kathryn Janeway from Star Trek Voyager) appeared in the only triple episode of the series called "Strange Bedfellows"?
In the episode "The Stork Brings a Crane", Woody checks into what the bar was before it was a bar and finds out that it was a House of Ill Repute.
The scenes shot of the outside of the bar were actually the "Bull and Finch Pub" in Boston.
Norm and Cliff guest-starred on an episode of the tv show "Wings". They took Sandpiper Air to go on a fishing trip but ended it by spending all their time in bars.
Cheers was nearly cancelled in its first season.
There were 3 bachelor party episodes on the tv show and all of them had something happen which brought them to an abrupt end! Sam's ends when Shelley Long (as the girl in the cake) throws cake in Ted Danson's face and storms out mad! Frasier's ends when he discovers that the stripper is one of his patients! Fitz's (Cliff's prospective father-in-law) ends when Fitz dies (not much point in going on, huh?)
Towards the end of the final Cheers episode, Sam straightens a crooked picture of an American Indian. This was a tribute to Nicholas Colasanto who played "Coach" till his death in 1985. The picture belonged to Colasanto and meant a lot to him.
George Wendt (Norm) and John Ratzenberger (Norm) sued in 1982 because the Producers of the tv show put robots that George and John claimed resembled them at a chain of Cheers themed airport bars without their permission.
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people. --Unknown
"Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress." --Alfred A. Montapert
"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people." --W. C. Fields
"I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?" --Carol Burnett
"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue." --Dorothy Parker
"Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?" --Frank Moore Colby
"If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman." --Margaret Thatcher
Experience is a good school but is not very strong on vacations. --Unknown
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age." --Robert Frost
What Cloud Does she Live ON? From Just For Grins. Mrs. Smith pulled Mrs. Jones out of earshot of the porch, where Mrs. Jones' lovely young daughter, Linda, sat. "It is really none of my business," whispered Mrs. Smith, "but have you noticed what your daughter is doing?" "Why, no. Is she up to anything special?" Mrs. Smith leaned closer. "Haven't you noticed? She has started knitting tiny garments!" Mrs. Jones' troubled brow cleared. "Well, thank goodness," she said smiling, "at last she has taken an interest in something besides running around with boys."
New airline: Bud Casselberry sent this one. It drove the Spell Checker to overheat. YA SURE, YA BETCHA, DIS IS DA LATEST AIR SERVICE TO SPROUT UP IN MINNESOWTA..... ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, MICHIGIN, NORT DAKOTA, AND MONTANA.....TRY IT, YOU VILL LIKE IT!! If you are traveling soon, consider Lutheran Air, da no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutheran Air, vhere flying is an uplifting experience. Der is no First Class on any Lutheran Air flight. Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls, 7-15 bring a salad, 16-21 a main dish, and 22-30 a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft. Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by freevill offering and da plane vill not land until da budget is met. Pay attention to your flight attendant, who vill acqvuaint you vith da safety system aboard dis Lutheran Air 599. Okay den, listen up: I'm only gonna say dis yust once. In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson and Co-captain Erickson because ve fly right around 2000 feet, so loss of cabin pressure vould probably indicate da Second Coming or something of dat nature, and I vouldn't bother with dose little masks on da rubber tubes. You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Yust stuff dose back up in der little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence vhich, to be honest vith ya, ve're going to have quite a bit of at 2000 feet...sort of like driving across a plowed field, but after a vhile ya get used to it. In da event of a vater landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and yust hope ya get to da part about forgive us our sins as ve forgive dose who sin against us, vhich some people say "trespass against us," vhich isn't right, but vat can ya do? Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because dey may interfere vith the plane's navigational system, vhich is seat of da pants all da vay... no, it's because cell phones are a pain in the vazoo and if God meant ya to use a cell phone, He vould have put your mouth on da side of your head. Ve're going to start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style vith the coffee pot up front. Den ve have da hymn sing... hymnals in da seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours vith you vhen ya go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kidding! Right now I'll say Grace..."Come Lord be our guest and let dese gifts to us be blest. Father, Son and Holy Ghost, may ve land in Dulutte or pretty close. Amen".
I love it when someone takes first in a You Just Can't Beat 'Em situation. Gary n' Patti for this one too A man was stopped by a game warden in North Carolina recently with two buckets full of fish. The 'fisherman' was leaving Lake Norman (a lake well known for its fishing) about 20 miles outside of Charlotte. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a fishing license?" The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. I brought these fish with me. These are my pet fish." "Pet fish?!?" the warden replied with incredulity. "Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim around for a while. After a while I holler out their names and they come back to shore, jump back into their buckets, and I take 'em home." "That's a bunch of bullsh!t !! Fish can't do that!" The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. They really do....watch how it works....." "O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The game warden demanded. The man poured the fish into the water and stood by the shore and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well??" "Well, what?" the man responded. "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted. "Call who back?" the man asked. "The FISH." "What fish?" The man asked.
Just For Grins gets the nod for this one. While on a car trip, the old couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. Pearl left her glasses on the table, but didn't miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. Old Bud fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. When they finally arrived, as Pearl got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, Bud said, "While you're in there, you may as well get my hat, too."
CleanLaugh. C. Wayne Wert for this one. While ferrying workers back and forth from an offshore oilrig, the helicopter lost power and went down. Fortunately, it landed safely in the lake. Struggling to get out, one man tore off his seat belt, inflated his life vest, and jerked open the exit door. "Don't jump!" the pilot yelled. "This thing is supposed to float!" As the man leapt from the helicopter into the lake, he yelled back, "Yeah, and it's supposed to FLY too!"
THE GROANERS: These were the Groaners from the collection sent by Gary n' Patti The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And then you dump the stock. ********* Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective. With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan." ******** A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up. ******** Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder: 1. All the DNA is the same. 2. There are no dental records. ******** A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."
YUK!! YUK!! Gotcha From Just For Grins. Walking past the big wooden fence around the mental institution, a guy hears everyone inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!" His curiosity piqued, he finds a hole in the fence and looks inside. All of a sudden a finger shoots through the hole and pokes him in the eye, and the inmates start wildly chanting.... "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"
This year it's in like a lion!