Super Bowl ads sell for record $2.4 million Advertising during the Super Bowl has gotten more costly. Fox television is charging a record average $2.4 million, a 4.3% increase from the average price advertisers paid during last year’s National Football League championship. Anheuser-Busch Cos., which makes Budweiser and Bud Lite, bought 10 of the roughly 60 available 30-second spots for the Feb. 6 event. Fox stands to earn about $144 million from the ads, based on the average rate.
Butt out: Fox nixes Super Bowl backside ad A year after Janet Jackson's breast brought a crackdown on indecency, Fox has rejected an ad for the Super Bowl offering a rare view of another celeb: Mickey Rooney's backside. In the spot for Airborne, a natural cold remedy, the 84-year-old star of such 1940s staples as National Velvet and the Andy Hardy films is in a sauna when someone behind him coughs. He overreacts, jumps up, screams and heads for the door. In his rush, his towel drops, baring his buns for about two seconds. "Our standards department reviewed the ad and it was deemed inappropriate for broadcast," says Lou d'Ermilio, spokesman for Fox Sports. It is, after all, nudity. But Rider McDowell, co-owner of Airborne, says it's not exactly titillating stuff. "There's nothing sexual about the ad," McDowell says. "It's tantamount to showing a baby's bottom." Rooney, who was planning a Super Bowl party, says in a statement he's angry. He wanted to be the butt of this joke: "What we're selling here is something I really believe in, which is an awareness of the germs we're all exposed to. There's nothing sensual about the brief exposure of my backside, and it's not gratuitous. ... It's a fun spot, and the public deserves to see it." McDowell says he has been in talks with Fox since August about the 15-second spot, for which he planned to pay $1.2 million, 10% of the Carmel, Calif.-based company's annual ad budget. "We're disappointed and angry," says McDowell, 42. And while he admits that he hoped to create "buzz," McDowell thinks Fox is being "overzealous in their policing of the airwaves."
And then there is GoDaddy.com. This fledging domain name registrar has committed to airing one spot during the Super Bowl commercial mayhem in hopes of scoring “huge exposure” for the GoDaddy.com brand. No GoDaddy no! I beg you to please put the $2.4 million outlay into building a better product and not waste your entire marketing budget on a thirty-second Super Bowl commercial. No GoDaddy no! Don’t do it! You are being blinded by the marketing mirage of creating brand awareness that comes with the possibility of reaching 95 million viewers watching the Super Bowl … not to mention the publicity you hope to gain by being mentioned in the media as an advertiser. But awareness doesn’t build preference. Computer.com, OurBeginning.com, netpliance.com, and onmoney.com all tried to build awareness by advertising during the 2000 Super Bowl. Look where it got them – absolutely nowhere. You can learn a lot from their failures. But since you obviously haven’t learned from the failures of past dot-com failures in advertising, maybe you’ll listen to a dot-com ‘advertising’ success story in Amazon.com. Amazon has stopped doing broad-scale television advertising in favor of spending marketing dollars to make the customer experience better … like free shipping for orders over $25. (And sales are still going strong at Amazon). I beg of you GoDaddy … don’t spend $2.4 million on one lousy thirty-second Super Bowl television commercial. Instead, spend it on areas that will improve your product and improve your customer’s experience. Why? Because products worth talking about get talked about and that will help you go from creating awareness to building preference.
View more about ads and see ads for this year plus archives of year's past. http://www.superbowl-ads.com/2005/index.html
CHUCKLES AND BELLY LAUGHS: Wayne Wert said that these could be told in church. Even so they are still funny. Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad.
From Just For Grins Mrs. Miller wanted a divorce. The judge asked, "What fault do you find with your husband?" "Your Honor, he's a liar, a brute, a thief and a brainless idiot." "That's very serious," exclaimed his Honor, "Can you prove all that?" "Prove it? Why everybody knows it." "If you knew all this, then why did you marry him?" "I didn't know it before I married him." The husband shouted, "She did too!"
Sue Clements sent this one. Made me chuckle. This one could be told either way. A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
Gary n' Patti for this one. Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
Wayne Wert sent this one. One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to study this stuff?" "To save lives," the professor responded and continued with the lecture. A few minutes later the same student spoke up again. "So, how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor.
THE GROANERS: Herb Budinger sent this one. A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.
Wayne Wert for this one The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, there are three doctors there already!"
Just For Grins had the nerve to print this one. A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. "OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!"
Dr Bill Hamm for this one. Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
Subject: ARKANSAS HUMOR More Wayne Wert A guy from Arkansas passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How can you tell if a Arkansas redneck is married? There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Arkansas? Documentaries!.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Where was the toothbrush invented? Arkansas. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-64 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery? (Come'on this is funny!) The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years!.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The governor's mansion in Arkansas burned down! Yep. Pert near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too. Both books - poof! up in flames , and they hadn't even finished coloring one of them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A new law was recently passed in Arkansas . . . When a couple gets divorced they are STILL cousins. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At the scene of the accident a trooper asked the Arkansas driver what gear he was in at the moment of impact. He replied, "tractor hat and camouflage hunting outfit"... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Folks in Arkansas now go to movies in groups of 18. They were told "17 and under are not admitted". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An Arkansas man spoke frantically into the phone, 'my wife is pregnant and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?",the doctor asked. "No ya dummy" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!! SEE YA NEXT WEEK.