"Ain't Misbehavin"

KCNET NEWSLETTER
08/07/05
COMMENTS AND SCHEDULE PAGE




MIKE'S COMMENTARY
THIS WEEK'S SCHEDULE
NEWS & NOTES BY SUE FOUST
 

MIKE'S COMMENTARY AND/OR BITS OF WISDOM
Is Life Worth Living?
Is life worth living? Yes, so long
As there is wrong to right,
Wail of the weak against the strong,
Or tyranny to fight;
Long as there lingers gloom to chase,
Or streaming tear to dry,
One kindred woe, one sorrowing face
That smiles as we draw nigh;
Long as a tale of anguish swells
The heart, and lids grow wet,
And at the sound of Christmas bells
We pardon and forget;
So long as Faith with Freedom reigns,
And loyal Hope survives,
And gracious Charity remains
To leaven lowly lives;
While there is one untrodden tract
For Intellect or Will,
And men are free to think and act
Life is worth living still . . . .
~ Alfred Austin (1835 - 1913) ~

 
Colored Folks?
When I'm born, I'm black, when I grow up, I'm black, when I'm in the sun, I'm black, when I'm cold, I'm black, when I'm scared, I'm black, when I'm sick, I'm black, and when I die, I'm still black.

You white folks....when you're born, you're pink, when you grow up, you're white, when you're in the sun, you're red, when you're cold, you're blue, when you scared, you're yellow, when you sick, you're green, when you bruised, you're purple, and when you die, you're gray.

So who you callin' colored folks?

Thirty Years Later
1975: KEG
2005: EKG

1975: Acid rock
2005: Acid reflux

1975: Moving to California because it's cool
2005: Moving to Arizona because it's warm

1975: Tryin to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2005: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1975: Seeds and stems
2005: Roughage

1975: Hoping for a BMW
2005: Hoping for a BM

1975: Going to a new, hip joint
2005: Receiving a new hip joint

1975: Rolling Stones
2005: Kidney Stones

1975: Being called into the principal's office
2005: Calling the principal's office

1975: Screw the system
2005: Upgrade the system

1975: Disco
2005: Costco

1975: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2005: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1975: Passing the drivers' test
2005: Passing the vision test

1975: Whatever
2005: Depends

NOW -Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things..
The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1987.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", 
or "de plane, Boss, de plane".

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Dr. Bill Hamm sent this to Bud.

 
 
~HMMM~ 

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
&
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth....Remember about Algebra.


 
 
KCNET CLASSES:
Internet and Email
4 session course
Topics include using the browser to find information on the Internet, web and email addresses, sending and receiving email, forwarding and replying to email, bookmarks, using the address book, and more. There is always time for questions and general exploration.

Beginner Windows 9x/XP
 4 session course
Topics include an introduction to all parts of the computer, learning about the desktop, mouse features and operation, and features and operation of the keyboard. Also creating shortcut icons, using recycle bin, wallpaper and screen savers, toolbars and taskbars, drag and drop, using window features (minimize, maximize, resize, etc), control panel, accessing the different drives, and more. There is always time for questions and general exploration.

Intermediate Windows 9x/XP
 4 session course
Topics include organization of windows programs, creating and organizing folders, file extensions, saving files from Internet, folder and file views, formatting floppy disks, installing programs, download programs from Internet, HTML email, uninstall vs delete, scandisk and defrag, email attachments, and more. There is always time for questions and general exploration.

Advanced Windows 9x/XP
 4 session course
Topics include a review of the management of folders and files, an introduction to photo manipulation, introduction to web page creation, using the sound recorder, attaching recordings to emails, introduction to eyeball cams and Internet transmission, and an introduction to burning your own CDs. There is always time for questions and general exploration.

KCnet Users Group:  (formerly know as  "Senior Net Learners" most recently called "Advanced Class").  I  wanted to call this class "The Abusers Group", but Sue would not hear of that.  Attendees are persistent in their search for computer knowledge.  They ask great questions and present interesting challenges.  The cost for this class is $0.00 for members of KCnet and $2.00 per session for non KCnet members.  There is no set format for the sessions.  Occasionally we will take a specific subject and do a detailed study over a period of successive weeks.  Don't be afraid to ask questions.  The folks that have been attending for awhile are always happy for a review and in most cases new or better ways to do things will surface.  Questions stimulate in-depth exploration with the usual result being an understanding of how and why.
We welcome new attendees from the Advanced sessions and our forever growing KCnet membership.  This is an advanced group and we cover a lot of territory. We are kind of free flowing.  You never know what will transpire.
It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it sure helps with the learning curve.
KCnet Advanced Class computer knowledge and Advanced Class computer skills are necessary.

OTHER CLASSES:
CLICK HERE FOR ORIENTATION - BEGINNERS - INTERMEDIATE - ADVANCED
CLICK HERE FOR SCANNING - MAC- GENEALOGY - WEB PAGE - EXCEL - WORD - DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHY - PHOTO MANIPULATION - OTHER SPECIALTIES

THIS WEEK'S CLASS SCHEDULE

WINDOWS INTERMEDIATE CLASS
Third & Final Sessions
August 9 & 11     9:00 -- 11:00 AM
Instructor:  Wayne Smith

KCnet Users Group:  Every Wednesday
The starting time is 9:00 AM on this Wednesday August 10. We meet in Computer Lab 1 (The Big Room).  Leadership is Mike Foust and anyone that wants to jump into the fray.
Quite a day this past Wednesday.
Among many other things we:
Explored more about Rootkits including downloading a rootkit "rooter outer" called F Secure Blacklist.  We then scanned the teach machine for rootkits.  Wayne and I were both happy that no incidents were found.  Read more about Rootkits and get the download location for Blacklight on this weeks Newsletter Virus page.

Had some fun with an earthcam sight - http://www.earthcam.com/metrocams/

Looked at a File EXtension source.  This is the best one I've looked into.  http://filext.com/index.php

Heard Sue Foust rediscuss the new KCnet Email Program.  The first move into the program happens Sunday August 7 from 12:00 AM till 6:00 AM. During the upgrade process, sending and receiving mail will be suspended.

Kibitzed about a bunch of other stuff too numerous to mention.

Snacks:  Umm Umm Good!
Kitty Laubscher brought Pretzels filled with Cheese and a Ho-Made Banana Bread.   Sue Clements brought that really good Candy and tasty Cucumber Salad.  WE had some of Dave Glossner's dark Pretzels.

This class often becomes idea swapping and we learn by sharing our many experiences and I'll tell you all again, that really happened this week.
Thanks to all that brought in suggestions, asked questions, and helped with explanations.

Investor User Group
August 10 at 6:00 PM
$5.00 per session
Group Leader:  Howard "Bud" Casselberry
 
 

OTHER KCNET CLASSES STARTING SOON
Call KCnet 893-8111 to register

WEB PAGE CREATION (BEGINNERS)
Rescheduled to:  September
Dates to be disclosed later.
Call KCnet at 893-8111.
Instructor:  Mike Foust

Music Creation
Starting when four students register--call 893-8111 to register.
Participants should be able to play a piano/keyboard by sight or ear.
Instructors: Carsten "Jon" Ahrens & Mike Foust

Orientation to KCnet
One-Session Class – No Charge for KCnet Members
Third Wednesday of Every Month 6:00 – 8:00 pm
Instructor:  Bob Fenton

MAC User Group
Meets 2nd Wednesday of each month
Time is 4:30 PM
Instructor:  Clair Falls

For more class details and to register visit: http://www.kcnet.org/class/
Registration can be done online, simply click on the course you are interested in and enter the information requested.  Registration can be done via phone 893-8111.
 

NEWS AND NOTES WITH SUE FOUST:

Have you noticed, there are fewer counters at the bottom of web pages?

Website marketers no longer measure success by the number of “hits” on their sites.  In the past, they were concerned with increasing page views.

This has proven to not be of much use in the fast moving internet world.  As a result, hits and views are no longer considered useful metrics for evaluating website success. They simply don't provide the right kind of information needed by online marketers. Now they look at conversions, drop-out rates, return on investment and revenue per visitor. 

Internet marketers of today want to make more money. To do this, they must understand their visitors, their motives, where they came from, what they were looking for, and how they found the site. And most important of all: what made them make the decision to buy or what made them abandon the purchase. 

In order to accomplish this, they buy analysis tools. These tools measure performance over time. 

A "Bounce"  is a visitor who comes to your site and leaves without looking at any other pages. The number of bounces is compared to those who visit more than one page to give a "Bounce Rate".  All websites have a bounce rate. Whether it is high or not is relative to the site. Only numbers taken over a period of time show an average for any particular site. 

There are two main problems that lead to a high bounce rate: Attracting the wrong kind of traffic and not giving the visitor what they were looking for. 

To identify the first case, the analysis tools have a New Visitors report. This report contains a list of unique, first-time visitors. The report should also show the first page visited and where they came from.  It may even show what search word they used to find your site.

Now, isn’t that interesting?

Until next week

KCnet Board Of Directors Officers:   President Bill Raco, Vice President Bob Rolley, Secretary Jon Ahrens,  Treasurer Don Miller and Past President Judy Yoho.   Other members of the board:  Carolyn Carl, R.  Keith Kelly, Paul Korn, Donna Lannan, Amy Lapriola, Tom Livingston,  Ray McGill,  , and Rich Wykoff.

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