TRIVIA: Columbus Myth busters by Joseph M. Laufer International Columbian Quincentenary Alliance P.O. Box 1492 Columbus, NJ 08022 MYTH: Columbus set out to prove the earth was round. FACT: At the end of the 15th Century, most everyone knew the earth was a sphere. What was in question, however, was the size of the earth--its circumference. Columbus underestimated the size of the earth by one-fourth.
MYTH: Queen Isabella sold the crown jewels to pay for Columbus' voyage. FACT: The queen may have suggested this at some point, but her financial advisers assured her that there were other ways to finance the enterprise. One way was to make the city of Palos pay back a debt to the crown by providing two of the ships. Another way was to get Italian financial backing for part of the expenses. The crown had to put up very little money from the treasury.
MYTH: The crew of the three ships on the voyage of discovery was made up mainly of criminals and nare-do-goods. FACT: The crew was primarily comprised of seasoned sailors from the towns of Palos and Moguer, Spain, thanks to the efforts of the Pinzon brothers. Just in case Columbus might have had trouble attracting a crew, the crown did offer amnesty to criminals. However, only four criminals were on board: one a convicted murderer (he killed a man in a quarrel); the other three, accused of freeing him from prison.
MYTH: The initial voyage from Spain to the new world was perilous--fraught with bad weather and lack of food. Several sailors died on the way. FACT: No one died on the maiden voyage. There was enough food aboard for one year. The weather was almost ideal--no storms were encountered. However, on the return trip to Spain there was a major hurricane which almost destroyed the two remaining ships.
MYTH: There was a priest on board the Santa Maria in 1492. FACT: There were no friars or priests on the first voyage in 1492, despite Columbus' deep religious fervor. Many of the paintings of the first landfall in the new world on San Salvador show a priest with Columbus--contrary to the facts. There were five priests on the second voyage: Benedictine Father Buil; the Jeronymite Father Ramon Pane; and three Franciscans.
MYTH: Several hundred sailors were aboard the three caravels on the initial voyage in 1492. The ships were relatively large for the anticipated long journey on an unpredictable sea. FACT: Only 90 men made the first voyage of discovery. The ships were quite tiny by modern standards--no longer than a tennis court, and less than 30 feet wide. The Santa Maria had 40 men aboard, the Pinta, 26, and the Nina, 24. Only the Nina and the Pinta returned to Spain, as the Santa Maria was shipwrecked on Christmas Day, 1492. 39 men volunteered to stay behind at the fortress called "La Navidad" on the northern coast of present-day Haiti (they all perished at the hands of the Indians prior to the return of Columbus the following year).
MYTH: There is no doubt that Columbus was of Italian descent. FACT: Much controversy surrounds the origins of Columbus. Some say he was a "converso"--a converted Jew. Others say he was born on Corsica, and there is even a theory that traces him to Viking ancestors. The prevailing theory is that he was a Genoese, born and raised in that seaport city in what is now Italy.
MYTH: Columbus suffered from syphilis and probably died from it. FACT: Columbus suffered in later life from a form of gout--an arthritic condition in his joints caused by the rigors of the sea. His eyesight was also declining. While syphilis was introduced into Europe after 1492, probably by the Indians Columbus brought back to Spain or by the sailors who had contact with them in the new world, Columbus was not infected by it.
MYTH: Columbus died a pauper, in chains, in a Spanish prison. FACT: Despite the fact that the Spanish crown retracted some of the privileges promised to Columbus, he was a relatively rich man at the time of his death. Although he returned to Spain in chains in 1500 after his third voyage, the King and Queen apologized for the misunderstanding and had them removed. Columbus died quietly at the age of 55 in Valladolid, Spain, on May 20, 1506 in his own apartment attended by family and friends.
MYTH: Columbus is buried in Santo Domingo, the Dominican Republic. FACT: There is much controversy surrounding the whereabouts of the remains of Columbus. There are records of the transferral of his remains on different occasions, so that it is possible that parts of his remains are in several locations. The prevailing belief, however, is that his primary burial place is in the Cathedral of Seville, Spain, with some of his bones or ashes in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, and some in Genoa, Italy. At one time they were in Cuba.
MYTH: Columbus set foot on North American soil at some point now a part of mainland United States. FACT: Columbus never saw North America. His first landfall was in the Bahamas, probably the current San Salvador (Watlings Island), although even this is disputed (Samana Cay, an island 65 miles south of San Salvador is a strong contender). There are proponents for seven other possible island landing sites. The only current U.S. territories either sighted or visited by Columbus are the U.S. Virgin Islands, which Columbus named on his second voyage, and Puerto Rico. While in anchor of St. Croix (USVI) on November 14, 1493, some of Columbus' crew experienced the first hostile encounter with the Indians. Five days later he landed at San Juan Bautista, now Puerto Rico. Later he would visit the northeastern tip of South America and the eastern coast of Central America, but never mainland U.S.A. The fact is that Columbus never admitted that he had discovered a new continent.
SOME OTHER INTERESTING FACTS: WOMEN were not on the first or second voyages of Columbus. The first women colonists appeared in 1498, when Columbus was allowed to recruit one woman for every ten emigrants on the third voyage.
HORSES were introduced to the new world by Columbus on his second voyage.
SEVENTEEN SHIPS and over twelve-hundred men made up "The Grand Fleet" of the second voyage in 1493.
TOBACCO was introduced into Europe because of Columbus' discovery of its use by the Indians.
CELESTIAL PHENOMENA were observed by Columbus on several of his voyages. He observed a "marvelous branch of fire" that fell into the sea (a meteor or a comet?) in 1492 on his first voyage. There is a record of a 280-pound meteorite which landed near the Alsatian town of Ensisheim and seen by the German King Maximilian in 1492.
There was a total eclipse of the moon on September 14, 1494 (second voyage), which Columbus used to clarify his position (erroneously) near Asia.
On the fourth voyage Columbus used his foreknowledge of a total eclipse of the moon on February 29, 1504, to convince the Indians of his supernatural powers.
QUOTES: "Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order." --John Quincy Adams
"Friendship with oneself is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -- Mother Teresa
"I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody." -- Benjamin Franklin
"Misfortune shows those who are not really friends." -- Aristotle
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." -- Mark Twain
"Thus nature has no love for solitude, and always leans, as it were, on some support; and the sweetest support is found in the most intimate friendship." -- Cicero
"Immense power is acquired by assuring yourself in your secret reveries that you were born to control affairs." --Andrew Carnegie
"Hope is a risk that must be run." --Georges Bernanos
"When thinking won't cure fear, action will." --W. Clement Stone
CHUCKLES AND BELLY LAUGHS This is an old one but maybe some may have not heard it. One day a Pirate and a bartender were talking to each other in a bar. The Bartender asked the pirate "Where did ya get that peg leg from?" The Pirate responded " We were sailing the seas when a big ol' shark came up to me while I was swimmin' and bit off me leg." Later the Bartender asked "Where did you get that hook then?" The pirate responded "Well, me crew and I were in a battle and it got cut through the bone." "Then where did ya get the eye patch from?" the bartender then asked. The pirate said " In a harbor I looked at a gull flying over head and it pottied right in me eye." The bartender was puzzled and asked the pirate, "How would that make you need an eye patch?" "First day with me hook."
New Sign Bud Casselberry used this one. Driving through Southern California, I stopped at a roadside stand that sold fruit, vegetables, and crafts. As I went to pay, I noticed the young woman behind the counter was painting a sign. "Why the new sign?" I asked. "My boyfriend didn't approve of the old one," she said. When I glanced at what hung above the counter, I understood. It declared, "Local Honey, Dates, Nuts."
Sports Illustrated From Good Clean Fun and Bud. The coach's wife yells to her husband, "It's Sports Illustrated on the phone." The coach falls all over himself racing to the phone and says, "Hello?" Then he hears, "For just 75 cents an issue...."
Yield for Pedestrians?[SPELLING] Also from Bud Seen in the parking lot of a brand new department store, painted on the ground at a crosswalk in letters 4 feet tall: YELD Close, but not close enough. I drove through the following week and found it was changed. They had painted an I between the existing letters. Now it read YEILD. About two months later they finally fixed it. The old lettering was painted over with black and freshly painted on top of that was the word STOP.
This isn't really a joke, I've seen this scenario live and up close. C. Wayne Wert sent this one. My husband and I had bought some gadgets for our almost teen-age grandsons and were leaving the store when we realized we didn't have batteries. He stepped over to a counter to get the batteries but couldn't attract the attention of the clerk. I waited for a little while then said, "I'll get a clerk over here real fast." With that, I pulled out my pocket tape measure and started measuring a large TV set. Amazingly, a clerk leap-frogged over several pieces of furniture to reach my side in jig time. To his "May I help you?" I said, "Of course. I'll take 8 of those batteries over there."
Cute, from Irishrose, Rosemary Bednarczyk. A few of Van Gogh's relatives were: His dizzy aunt---Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes--- Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store--- Stop n Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia---U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white--- Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois--- Chica Gogh His magician uncle---Where-diddy Gogh His Mexican cousin--- A mee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half-brother--- Gring Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach--- Wells-far Gogh The constipated uncle--- Cant Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt--- Tang Gogh The bird lover uncle--- Flamin Gogh His nephew psychoanalyst--- E Gogh The fruit loving cousin--- Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking--- Way-to Gogh The little bouncy nephew--- Poe Gogh A sister who loved disco--- Go Gogh And his niece who travels the country in a van--- Winnie Bay Gogh Well, there you Gogh!
An Oldie - a rerun, but one of my favorites, it makes me laugh every time I read or hear it. Bud reminded me. It is one of his favorites too. One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact." But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files. From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Norwegians, passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Norske fire fighters. The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film asking, "What are you going to do with all that money?" "Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "da furst thing ve gotta do is fix da brakes on dat dang truck!"
THE GROANERS: BAD From Just "For Grins At twenty-three years old, Rita decides to try horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when... the Wal-Mart manager runs over to unplug the horse.
JUST AS BAD From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain. "I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad."
A Pun Paw: Dr. Bill Hamm comes up with good puns/groaners quite often. You decide if this is one of them. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West... He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
First ever Blond Guy Joke! Dave Glossner sent this one. An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said; "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican guy opened his lunch box and exclaimed, Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The blond guy opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death. The Mexican guy opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funerals, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again! The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch!
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