TRIVIA: * The word denim comes from 'de Nimes', or from Nimes, a place in France. * Dublin comes from the Irish Dubh Linn which means Blackpool * Scottish is the language called Gaelic, whereas Irish is actually called Gaeilge. * The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life" * Mr. Spock's (of Star Trek) blood type was T-Negative * The Dutch town of Abcoude is the only reasonably sized town/city in the world whose name begins with ABC. * A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours. * A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. * New Jersey has a spoon museum featuring over 5,400 spoons from every state and almost every country. * Eleven square miles of southwest Kentucky (Fulton County) is cut off from the rest of the state by the * Mississippi River. If you wish to travel from this cut off section to the rest of the state or vice-versa, you must first cross a bordering state. * Point Roberts in Washington State is cut off from the rest of the state by British Columbia, Canada. If you wish to travel from Point Roberts to the rest of the state or vice versa, you must pass through Canada, including Canadian and U.S. customs * A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge. * A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. * The only city in the United States to celebrate Halloween on the October 30 instead of October 31 is Carson City, Nevada. October 31 is Nevada Day and is celebrated with a large street party. * On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner. * No words in the English language rhyme with orange, silver or purple. * A peanut is not a nut; it is a legume. * It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. * "Evian" spelled backvards is naive. * The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. * Maine is the toothpick capital of the world. * "Bookkeeper" and "bookkeeping" are the only words in the English language with three consecutive double letters. * Paul McCartney's mother was a midwife. * The flag of the Philippines is the only national flag that is flown differently during times of peace or war. * The phrase "sleep tight" originated when mattresses were set upon ropes woven through the bed frame. To remedy sagging ropes, one would use a bed key to tighten the rope. (And I thought it had to do with "booze" [Mike].) * It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up it's stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of it's mouth. Then the frog uses it's forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again. (Like I really need to know that. It is a nice technique, though. [Mike].) * The A&W of root beer fame stands for Allen and Wright. * A baby eel is called an elver, a baby oyster is called a spat. * Bingo is the name of the dog on the Cracker Jack box. * The arteries and veins surrounding the brain stem called the "circle of Willis" looks like a stick person with a large head. * Welsh mercenary bowmen in the medieval period only wore one shoe at a time. * On a trip to the South Sea islands, French painter Paul Gauguin stopped off briefly in Central America, where he worked as a laborer on the Panama Canal. * The Ganges River in India boasts the only genuine fresh-water sharks in the entire world. * The gene for the Siamese coloration in animals such as cats, rats or rabbits is heat sensitive. Warmth produces a lighter color than does cold. Putting tape temporarily on Siamese rabbit's ear will make the fur on that ear lighter than on the other one. * There are only 12 letters in the Hawaiian alphabet. * Charles de Gaulle's final words were, "It hurts." * The words 'sacrilegious' and 'religion' do not share the same etymological root. * "John has a long moustache" was the coded-signal used by the French Resistance in WWII to mobilize their forces once the Allies had landed on the Normandy beaches. * Gatorade was named for the University of Florida Gators where it was first developed. * Brooklyn is the Dutch name for "broken valley"
QUOTES: "My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way." --Henny Youngman
"Dating two sisters is a pretty hard task, especially when they both live in the same convent." --Derek Winsworth
"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." --Milton Berle
"Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life." --??
"The better part of one's life consists of his friendships." -- Abraham Lincoln, (sent by Heather Myers)
"To be depressed is to be lonely; to have a friend is to be happy..." -- Guido
"The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him, his own." --Benjamin Disraeli
"I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious." --Stephen Wright
"A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking." --Unknown - (I wish I had said it, [Mike]!)
"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." --Oscar Wilde
"Though our communication wanes at times of absence, I'm aware of a strength that emanates in the background." --Claudette Renner
"I can trust my friends. These people force me to examine, encourage me to grow." --Cher
"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being." --Goethe
CHUCKLES AND BELLY LAUGHS Can't Win From Just For Grins Ron was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends were already married while Ron just bounced from one relationship to the next. Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?" "No," Ron replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!" "Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?" Many weeks passed before Ron and his friend crossed paths again. "So Ron. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?" Ron shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends." "Excellent!!! So... Are you and this girl engaged yet?" "I'm afraid not," Ron replied, "My Father can't stand her!"
Kids can make me laugh Also Just For Grins Maureen told her young son to go to bed and be sure to say his prayers and ask God to make him a good boy. The boy's father, passing by the bedroom, overheard his son praying: "And make me a good boy if You can; and if You can't, don't worry about it, 'cause I'm having fun the way I am."
Carrier Landings This would change your shorts. From Good Clean Fun and Bud Casselberry. Flying into a Middle East airport, my co-pilot and I reviewed our flight plan for the trip back to the USS Enterprise. We were to pick up a Navy captain, and experience had taught me that even seasoned vets turn white-knuckled during carrier landings. Once the captain was strapped in, I turned around to welcome him aboard. "Sir," I asked, "will this be your first carrier landing?" Looking at me with disdain, he opened his inflatable vest to display gold wings above five rows of ribbons. "Son," he said, "I have over 500 carrier landings in jet fighters." "That's good to hear," my co-pilot said, winking at me, "because this will be our first."
Bears Also from Good Clean Fun. A couple were vacationing in Yosemite. The wife expressed her concern about camping because of bears and said she would feel more comfortable in a motel. The husband said that he'd like to camp and to calm her concerns, they'd talk to the park ranger to see what the likelihood of a bear encounter would be. The ranger told them, "Well, we haven't seen any grizzlies in this area so far this year, or black bears, for that matter." The wife shrieked, "There's TWO types of bears out here? How can you tell the difference? Which one is more dangerous?" The ranger replied, "Well, that's easy, see, if the bear chases you up a tree and it comes up after you, it's a BLACK bear. If it SHAKES the tree until you fall out, it's a grizzly." The motel room was quite nice.
Talking Politics: Bill Hamm sent this one to Bud. Two old-timers, Zeb and Noah, were sitting in rocking chairs in front of the General Store in Atherton, Vermont, gabbing away about politics... Zeb said to Noah, "I used to eat a lot better back when Ronald Reagan was president." "Oh... So you think times were better back then?" asked Noah. "No..." replied Zeb, "But I had my own teeth."
FUR COAT Pulling the fur over his eyes...Another Bill Hamm. A fella was saying to his friend, "My wife seems to have developed some sort of fixation that her collection of fur coats will be stolen. When I came home early one day last week, I found she'd hired someone to *guard* them! In fact, she stationed the poor guy right inside the closet!" OOPS!!!!
Auto-Body Repair More Good Clean Fun One of my first assignments as a trainee in an auto-body shop was a car needing a new fender and some door repairs. I spent hours doing a perfect job, but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn't pleased. "What's wrong?" I asked. Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching, uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other problems. He demanded an explanation. "The repairs were to the other side," I noted.
Finally a story about will and temptation. From Irishrose, Rosemary Bednarczyk After starting a new diet, I altered my drive to town to avoid passing my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window was a host of my favorite goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, "Lord, it's up to you . . . if you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery." And sure enough, He answered my prayer. On the eighth time around the block, there it was!
THE GROANERS: Jim Rockwell gets the credit for keeping the next three alive. * When a wealthy man from West Virginia died, he left everything to his wife. He only had one stipulation - she couldn't touch any of the money until she reached 14 yrs. of age. * A Pa. state trooper stopped a car from West Virginia. When he asked the driver, "Do you have any I.D.?", the driver answered, "About what? * In West Virginia, even if you get a divorce, you are still 1st cousins.
A SMART BLONDE JOKE: YIKES, I'm almost ashamed to put this one up. Bud Casselberry sent it. Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Brigham Young University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her. The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her. The last one, a blond, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Florida and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."
This one is a rerun but it is one of my favs. Timmy was a little five year old boy whose Mom loved him very much, and being a worrier, she was concerned about his walking to school when he started Kindergarten. She walked him to school the first couple of days, and at the end of the week, he came home from school and told his mother that he did not want her walking him to school everyday. He wanted to be like the "big boys" he protested loudly. So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her. Mrs. Goodnest said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed. The next school day, Mrs. Goodnest and her little girl, Marcy, set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor boy he knew. She did this for the whole week. As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs,Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week. Finally he said to Timmy, "Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?" Timmy nonchalantly replied, "Yeah, I know who she is." The friend said, "Well, who is she?" "That's just Shirley Goodnest" Timmy replied, "and her daughter Marcy." "Shirley Goodnest? Who the heck is she and why is she following us?" "Well", Timmy explained, "every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much. And in the psalm, it says 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life,' so I guess I'll just have to get used to it!" Now another favorite, The Bell Ringer Dave Glossner sent this one again. It makes me chuckle everytime. Warped I guess. After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skill, he had decided to call it a day. Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "watch this!" And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo. But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?" I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "BUT HIS FACE RINGS A BELL"... READ ON--there's more.............) The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless bellringer, the bishop continued his interviews for a bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty." The bishop agreed to give the man an audition and, as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief of this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. "What has happened? Who is this man?" the first monk asked breathlessly. "I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "but............ HE'S A DEAD RINGER FOR HIS BROTHER"...
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