TRIVIA: WORLD WIDE WEB Tim Berners-Lee (1955, London, England - ) invented the World Wide Web. His first version of the Web was a program named "Enquire," short for "Enquire Within Upon Everything". At the time, Berners-Lee was working at CERN, the European Particle Physics Laboratory located in Geneva, Switzerland. He invented the system as a way of sharing scientific data (and other information) around the world, using the Internet, a world-wide network of computers, and hypertext documents. He wrote the language HTML (HyperText Mark-up Language), the basic language for the Web, and devised URL's (universal resource locators) to designate the location of each web page. HTTP (HyperText Transfer Protocol) was his set of rules for linking to pages on the Web. After he wrote the first browser in 1990, the World Wide Web was up and going. Its growth was (and still is) phenomenal, and has changed the world, making information more accessible than ever before in history. Berners-Lee is now a Principal Research Scientist at the Laboratory for Computer Science at the MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology, in Cambridge, Massachusett, USA) and the Director of the W3 Consortium.
DIDJA KNOW * There are six five words in the English language with the letter combination "uu." Muumuu, vacuum, continuum, duumvirate and duumvir, residuum. * The "Calabash" pipe, most often associated with Sherlock Holmes, was not used by him until William Gillette (an American) portrayed Holmes onstage. Gillette needed a pipe he could keep in his mouth while he spoke his lines. * Most Americans' car horns beep in the key of F. * Dirty Harry's badge number is 2211. * The pupil of an octopus' eye is rectangular. * The shortest French word with all five vowels is "oiseau" meaning bird. * Camel's milk does not curdle. * "Mr. Mojo Risin" is an anagram for Jim Morrison. * The ball on top of a flagpole is called the truck. * A person from the country of Nauru is called a Nauruan; this is the only palindromic nationality. * The word "modem" is a contraction of the words "modulate, demodulate." * Oliver Cromwell was hanged and decapitated two years after he had died. * In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. * Iowa has more independent telephone companies than any other state. * Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time. * Hamsters love to eat crickets. * The only "real" food that U.S. Astronauts are allowed to take into space is pecan nuts. * The word "queueing" is the only English word with five consecutive vowels. * The first Eagle Scout west of the Mississippi is buried in San Marcos, Texas. * In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere. * Roberta Flack wrote "Killing Me Softly" about singer Don McLean. * The Greek version of the Old Testament is called the Septuagint. * Spencer Eldon was the name of the naked baby on the cover of Nirvana's album * All three major 1996 Presidential candidates, Clinton, Dole and Perot, are left-handed. * The Madagascan Hissing Cockroach is one of the few insects who give birth to live young, rather than laying eggs. * The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention the name of God. * Sheriff came from Shire Reeve. During early years of feudal rule in England, each shire had a reeve who was the law for that shire. When the term was brought to the United States it was shortned to Sheriff. * An animal epidemic is called an epizootic. * Dracula is the most filmed story of all time, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is second and Oliver Twist is third. * The silhouette on the NBA logo is Jerry West. * The silhouette on the Major League Baseball logo is Harmon Killebrew. * The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P. * The little lump of flesh just forward of your ear canal, right next to your temple, is called a tragus. * Soweto in South Africa ws derived from SOuth WEst TOwnship. * Murphy's Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants. * The Andy Griffth Show was the first spin-off in TV history. It was a spin-off of the Danny Thomas Show. * Goat's eyes have rectangular pupils. * Walt Disney's autograph bears no resemblance to the famous Disney logo. * Other than humans, black lemurs are the only primates that may have blue eyes. * The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used. * The two longest one-syllable words in the English language are "screeched" and "strengths." * Great Britain was the first county to issue postage stamps. Hence, the postage stamps of Britain are the only stamps in the world not to bear the name of the country of origin. However, every stamp carries a relief image or a silhouette of the monarch's head instead. * Images for picture stamps in the United States are commissioned by the United States Postal Service Department of Philatelic Fulfillment. * Artist Constantino Brumidi fell from the done of the U.S. Capitol while painting a mural around the rim. He died four months later. * Since 1896, the beginning of the modern Olympics, only Greece and Australia have participated in every Games. * There were no squirrels on Nantucket until 1989. * Cathy Rigby is the only woman to pose nude for Sports Illustrated. (August 1972) * Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan. * Will Clark of the Texas Rangers is a direct descendant of William Clark of Lewis and Clark. * When ocean tides are at their highest, they are called "spring tides." When they are at their lowest, they are call "neep tides." * February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. * The last NASCAR driver to serve jail time for running moonshine was Buddy Arrington. * Many Japanese golfers carry "hole-in-one" insurance, because it is traditional in Japan to share one's good luck by sending gifts to all your friends when you get an "ace." The price for what the Japanese term an "albatross" can often reach $10,000. * The difference between male and female blue crabs is the design located on their apron (belly.) The male blue crab has the Washington Monument while the female apron is shaped like the U.S. Capitol. * It takes a lobster approxiamately seven years to grow to be one pound. * The ridges on the sides of coins are called reeding.
BARNARD, CHRISTIAAN N. Christiaan Neethling Barnard (1923- ) is a South African heart surgeon who developed surgical procedures for organ transplants, invented new heart valves, and performed the first human heart transplant (on Dec. 3, 1967, in a five-hour operation with a team of 20 surgeons). The 55-year-old Louis Washkansky received the heart transplant; Washkansky lived for only 18 days after the operation, dying from pneumonia (his immune system had been weakened by drugs designed to suppress the rejection of the new heart). The donor of the heart was a woman who had been fatally injured in a car crash. Barnard performed more successful transplants later in his career; some of his later transplant recipients survived for years. Barnard was the head of the cardiac unit at Groote Schuur Hospital until he retired in 1983. QUOTES: "In times like these, it is helpful to remember that there have always been times like these." --Paul Harvey
"It's a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand." --Madeleine L'Engle
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again" --Terry Venables
"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds." --Edward Abbey
"When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet." --Stanislaw J. Lec
"I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards." --Geoffrey Parfitt
"Two boys arrived yesterday with a pebble they said was the head of a dog until I pointed out that it was really a typewriter." --Pablo Picasso
CHUCKLES AND BELLY LAUGHS Chore List From Good Clean Fun Aha! So that's how they do it. My parents are both busy professional people and have trouble finding time for chores and home maintenance. On weekends they each make a list of things to be done. Father's list is never completely crossed off, but Mother's always is. Puzzled, I asked her how she managed that. "Simple," she answered with a satisfied grin. "I do the chore first, and then I put it on the list and cross it off!"
We have that in Texas... Bill Hamm sent this one to Bud Casselberry. A Texan died and went to heaven where St. Peter met him at the Pearly Gates. "Show me what you got, Pete," said Tex. St. Peter swung open the gates and revealed a beautiful landscape of mountains, rivers, streams, trees, flowers and all the trimmings. "We've got that in Texas. We call it King Ranch" said Tex. St. Pete flashed up a scene of men, women and children frolicking on the countryside, riding coaches, swinging, swimming, riding horses, bicycling, etc. "We've got that, too. We call it Six Flags." Whereupon St. Peter threw open a trapdoor of the fires of Hell and out shot a huge ball of fire followed by a solid stream of flame sweeping over the entire area. The blinding light and heat were enormous. "We don't have that," said Tex, "but we've got a guy in Houston who can put it out."
Quick thinking. C. Wayne Wert sent this one. During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received several letters from home. The drill instructor was getting irritated at having to keep calling my name. "You must have a lot of people at home who like you, huh?" he barked. "Sir, no, sir!" I shouted. "Oh, so you're calling me a liar?" goaded the DI. Trained as a Marine to think quickly on my feet, I yelled out, "Sir, creditors, sir!" The DI had to leave the room so we wouldn't see him laughing.
Bob Casselberry gets the credit for this one. When the power mower was broken and wouldn't run, a lady kept hinting to her husband that he should get it fixed. But, somehow the message never sank in. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When her husband arrived home one day, he found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He was gone only a few moments when he came out again. He handed her a toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalks." The doctors say he will probably walk again, but he will always limp.
From Just For Grins. When Suzanne arrived home from work she was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash Suzanne ran out onto the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, "I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a blind policeman!"
Modern Medical Procedures This one from Joke Of The Day. A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."
What's the fastest Jack Laubscher sent this one. An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?" Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man. "Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye... that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said. Turning to the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Oh I can explain." said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already messed my pants!"
And finally, this one from Wayne C. Smith. I hope this never happens but the way things happen these days... Who knows. The National Football League recently announced a new era. From now on, no offensive team names will be permitted. While the owners of the team rush to change uniforms and such, the National Football League announced, yesterday, its name changes and schedules for the '04/'05 season: The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very Tall People on opening day. Other key games include the Dallas Western-Style Laborers hosting the St. Louis Wild Endangered Species, and the Minnesota Plundering Norsemen taking on the Green Bay Meat Industry Workers. In Week 2, there are several key matchups, highlighted by the showdown between the San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts and the New Orleans Pretty Good People. The Atlanta Birds of Prey will play host to the Philadelphia Birds of Prey. The Monday night game will pit the Miami Pelagic Percoid Food Fishes against the Denver Untamed Beasts of Burden. The Cincinnati Large Bangladeshi Carnivorous Mammals will travel to Tampa Bay for a clash with the West Indies Free Booters later in Week 9. And the Detroit Large Carnivorous Cats will play the Chicago Large Mountain Mammals. Week 9 also features the Indianapolis Young Male Horses at the New England Zealous Lovers of Country.
THE GROANERS: A Memory To Remember! Bud Casselberry had this one in his Joke Newsletter. It made me GROAN. So this reporter checks in at some old hotel smack in middle of nowhere. Coming into the lobby, he is confronted with the strange sight of an old Indian, whittling stick, long black hair, reddish skin, sitting on one of the chairs as if he intends never to get up. "That's Old Chief Forget-Me-Not," whispers the man behind the desk reverently, "he is allowed to stay here for free because he let me build my hotel on his reservation." "Why the weird name?" whispers the reporter. "Old Chief NEVER forgets anything that happened to him since he was two. Now he is 102. Fantastic memory." Once the reporter has checked in, he decides to check out old Forget-Me-Not. "Hey Chief!" he calls, "What'd you have for breakfast on the morning of your 21st birthday?" "Eggs," replies the Chief without even looking up. The reporter is so amazed, he jumps in his car and drives at least two hours over to where his other reporter friend is staying. Once telling the story over, both reporters jump in the car and drive right back two hours to the hotel, smelling a big scoop. On the way, the second reporter tells the first: "Why don't you address the Chief more respectfully, so he'll demonstrate to us more?" Following his friend's advice, the first reporter greets the Chief with a resounding "HOW!!" "Scrambled," replies the Chief.
This one from Just For Grins. "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the new recruit replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."
Pretty bad but I'm using it anyway. From Worldstart. Glenn and Scott are bungee-jumping one day when Glenn has a brainstorm, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." Scott agrees that it would be a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. When everything is ready Glenn gives it a test jump. When he bounces at the end of the cord and comes back up, Scott notices that Glenn has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the Scott isn't able catch him, so Glenn falls again, bounces, and then comes back up. This time, Glenn is bruised and bleeding. Again, Scott misses him. Glenn goes down again and this time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. On the next attempt, Scott finally catches him and pulls him in. "What happened?" he asks. "Was the cord too long?" Glenn catches his breath and replies, "No, the cord was fine, but tell me... what the heck is a piñata?"
I Don't Believe it. Arthur was walking through the woods when he came to a river. He walked along the bank for a while looking for a way to get across. After a while he spotted someone else on the opposite bank, so he called out, "How do I get to the other side?" The other person yelled back, "You ARE on the other side!"
Gotta do a blonde joke. Thanks to Gary n' Patti One blonde asks another: "Which is further, London or the Moon?".................... The other replies: "HELLOOOOO, can you see London from here?!"
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