TRIVIA: Koala's have fingerprints? Humans aren't the only animals with distinctive fingerprints. Almost all primates have fingerprints, and some primates even have tailprints. But koalas are one of very few other animals that actually have fingerprints. Most marsupials have warts at the ends of their "fingers", but koalas have clearly defined ridges and there are differences in their fingerprints like there are in humans. The next time one of those eucalyptus munching tree dwellers runs off with your heart, you just might have the chance to bring it to justice.
A Whole Bunch Of Didja Knows * Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. * The dollar symbol ($) is a U combined with an S (U.S.) * Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. * The Statue of Liberty's tablet is two feet thick. * There are two credit cards for every person in the United States. * The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is 'Live Free or Die'. These license plates are manufactured by prisoners in the state prison in Concord. * The straw was probably invented by Egyptian brewers to taste in-process beer without removing the fermenting ingredients which floated on the top of the container. * David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie. * The United States government keeps its supply of silver at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, NY * There are only thirteen blimps in the world. * Nine of the thirteen blimps are in the United States. * The existing biggest blimp is the Fuji Film blimp. * Naugahyde, plastic "leather" was created in Naugatuck, Connecticut. * The Swiss flag is square. * The word 'pound' is abbreviated 'lb.' after the constellation 'libra' because it means 'pound' in Latin, and also 'scales'. The abbreviation for the British Pound Sterling comes from the same source: it is an 'L' for Libra/Lb. with a stroke through it to indicate abbreviation. * Same goes for the Italian lira which uses the same abbreviation ('lira' coming from 'libra'). So British currency (before it went metric) was always quoted as "pounds/shillings/pence", abbreviated "L/s/d" (libra/solidus/denarius). * The three largest land-owners in England are the Queen, the Church of England and Trinity College, Cambridge. * The monastic hours are matins, lauds, prime, tierce, sext, nones, vespers and compline. * If you come from Manchester, you are a Mancunian. * No animal, once frozen solid (i.e., water solidifies and turns to ice) survives when thawed, because the ice crystals formed inside cells would break open the cell membranes. However there are certain frogs that can survive the experience of being frozen. These frogs make special proteins which prevent the formation of ice (or at least keep the crystals from becoming very large), so that they actually never freeze even though their body temperature is below zero Celsius. The water in them remains liquid: a phenomenon known as 'supercooling.' If you disturb one of these frogs (just touching them even), the water in them quickly freezes solid and they die.
QUOTES: "It's a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do." --Walter Winchell
"How you lose or keep your hair depends on how wisely you choose your parents." --Edward R. Nida
"Gray hair is God's graffiti." --Bill Cosby
"We must remember that for every instance of the government's demonstrating the intelligence of a yam, there is also an instance of the government's rising to the level of a far more complex vegetable, such as the turnip." -- Dave Barry
"We need a President who's fluent in at least one language." -- Buck Henry
We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate. -- Kin Hubbard
"I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle." --Winston Churchill
"A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul." --George Bernard Shaw
"A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money." --G. Gordon Liddy
"A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin." --H. L. Mencken
"He is happiest who hath power to gather wisdom from a flower." --Mary Howitt
"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable." --Joseph Addison CHUCKLES AND BELLY LAUGHS The next two naval stories are from C. Wayne Wert During a training cruise, a destroyer was weaving its way through a myriad of islands and small fishing boats. Although it was a clear day, the radar was in operation to train the reservists. A report came from the radar room to the bridge, "Target bearing 230 degrees, believe it to be a log." Unimpressed by this superb job of radar interpretation, the young officer of the deck scanned the water with his powerful glasses. Perceiving a pair of sea gulls on top of the accurately reported log, he barked, "Radar, this is the bridge. Regarding your last reported target, there are two sea gulls on that log which you failed to report!" There was a long silence as the radar antenna was swung about and pointed in the direction of the log. Then the voice of the chief radarman was heard, "Regarding the last sighting, we have a correction to make, sir. There ARE two sea gulls on that log - one male, the other female!"
Quick Thinking A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea-captain. "What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?" "Throw out an anchor, sir." "What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?" "Throw out another anchor, sir." "And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do?" "Throw out another anchor." "Hold on," said the Captain, "where are you getting all your anchors from?" "From the same place you're getting your storms, sir.
Out Of Luck Encounter Tom Livingston for this one. A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman calmly looked up at her and said, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."
Special Delivery: Dr. Bill Hamm sent this to Bud Casselberry. In his younger days our golden retriever, Catcher, often ran away when he had the chance. His veterinarian's office was about a mile down the road, and Catcher would usually go there. The office staff knew him and would call me to come pick him up. One day I called the vet to make an appointment for Catcher's yearly vaccine. "Will you be bringing him in yourself," asked the receptionist, "or will he come on his own?"
Bravery: Tom Livingston sent this one to Bud and Bud shared it with me. True bravery is arriving home late after a night out and half loaded, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask: Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?
Lock Jaw Bob Casselberry sent this one to Bud. In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town's animal Vet. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Well, do you need him as the sheriff or the vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."
From Just For Grins After Sunday service a young couple talked to the pastor about joining the church. He hadn't met the husband before, so he asked what church he was transferring from. The husband looked down at his feet and replied, "I am transferring from the Municipal Golf Course."
60 Minutes story Another C. Wayne Wert story Barbara Walters of 60 Minutes (USA) did a story on gender roles in Kabul several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their husbands. She returned to Kabul recently and observed that women still walk behind their husbands, but now seem to walk even further back and are happy with the old custom. Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you used to try and change?" "Land mines," said the woman.
THE GROANERS: Avoiding the crowds Dr Bill Hamm gets the credit for the first Groaner this week. It was Christmas Eve and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "What?!? That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened," he replied.
The Conductor Dave Glossner sent this one. A railroad worker killed a customer in a fight. He was convicted of murder and sent to the electric chair. But when they turned on the juice, he was unaffected. Everyone was stunned. When reporters asked him how he withstood the charge, he said, "I'm just a bad conductor!"
Gary n' Patti for these tidbits "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself,"
A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all," "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder 1.. All the DNA is the same. 2. There are no dental records.
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion." Joe: "Really?" Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse. "OOPS!
From Just For Grins Scott, Glenn, and Tom were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop souvenirs and autographs. Tom said, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in." Immediately, a burly athlete walked up to the table and declared, "Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput." He opened his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant. The attendant said, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information." Tom gets inspired and grabbed a small tree sapling, stripped off the limbs and roots, walked up the registration table and declared: "Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin." "Very good, Mr. Wagon," the attendant responded, "Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!" Scott grabbed a street utility manhole cover, walked up to the registration table and stated: "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus." The attendant replied, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself." They scampered in, but suddenly realized that Glenn was missing. They groaned, knowing that he wasn't too bright. They forgot to make sure he didn't do something stupid and blow their cover stories. Just then Glenn walked proudly up to the table with a roll of barbed wire under his arm and declared: "Foster Bean. Toledo, Ohio. Fencing."
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