"Bugle Boy of Company B" KCNET NEWSLETTER FUN PAGE -05/30/04 TRIVIA QUOTES CHUCKLES/BELLY LAUGHS & GROANERS TRIVIA: Biggest Air Strike! In Anerham (Netherlands), Anglo-American armed forces attacked with three big combat divisions on 17 September, 1944. This was the biggest ever air invasion. 2800 fighter planes and 1600 gliders were used in the air combat! Longest Military Holdup! (664 - 610 B.C) - Ruler of Greece, Saemthik First, surrounded Azothus (Israel) with his troops for 29 years! (August 30, 1941 - June 27, 1944) - Leningrad (Russia) was under seize by German forces for 880 days. This seize is known as the biggest in the history because 1.3-1.5 million of soldiers and civilians were killed during that time. Longest Air Strike! Bomber plane called Volcon of Royal Air Force attacked PortStenley (Falkland Islands), 12,875 kilometres away from Britain! Biggest military buildup in Shortest time! (July 10-12 , 1943) 181,000 soldiers of Allied nations landed in Sicily in just three days! None of the above stats take into consideration any stats for the actions during the War on Terror. During the American Civil War, the city of Vicksburg, a crucial confederate seaport located on the Mississippi river, was placed under siege by Union Forces, Commanded by General Ulysses Simpson Grant on May 17, 1863. The devastating siege lasted 48 days, ending on July 4th 1863, with the capture of Vicksburg. During the siege, the Federal Navy shelled Vicksburg a total of 42 consecutive days. A record that stood for 88 years until the end of March 1951, when the United States Navy, during the Korean War reached the 43rd day of a bombardment siege of the vital N. Korean seaports of Wonson, Songjin, and Hungnam located on the east coast of the sea of Japan. The navel siege of these seaports went on to reach a grand total of 861 consecutive days ending on July 27, 1953; when the armistice agreement went into effect. A record 861 consecutive days that probably will never be broken. The Americans of 1776 had the highest standard of living and the lowest taxes in the Western World!= Farmers, lawyers and business owners in the Colonies were thriving, with some plantation owners and merchants making the equivalent of $500,000 a year. Times were good for many others too. The British wanted a slice of the cash flow and tried to tax the Colonists. They resisted violently, convinced that their prosperity and their liberty were at stake. Virginia's Patrick Henry summed up their stance with his cry: "Give me liberty or give me death!" There were two Boston tea parties! Everyone knows how 50 or 60 "Sons of Liberty," disguised as Mohawks, protested the 3 cents per pound British tax on tea by dumping chests of the popular drink into Boston Harbor on December 16, 1773. Fewer know that the improper Bostonians repeated the performance on March 7, 1774. The two tea parties cost the British around $3 million in modern money. Benjamin Franklin wrote the first Declaration of Independence! In 1775, Benjamine Franklin, disgusted with the arrogance of the British and appalled by the bloodshed at Lexington and Concord, wrote a Declaration of Independence. Thomas Jefferson was enthusiastic. But, he noted, many other delegates to the Continental Congress were "revolted at it." It would take another year of bitter conflict to persuade the Congress to vote for the Declaration of Independence written by Jefferson -- with some astute editorial suggestions by Franklin. QUOTES: "All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope." --Sir Winston Churchill "Freedom of speech and freedom of action are meaningless without freedom to think. And there is no freedom of thought without doubt." --Bergen Evans The Natural History of Nonsense "Freedom is always and exclusively freedom for the one who thinks differently." --Rosa Luxemburg "I have often asked myself why human beings have any rights at all. I always come to the conclusion that human rights, human freedoms, and human dignity have their deepest roots somewhere outside the perceptible world. These values are as powerful as they are because, under certain circumstances, people accept them without compulsion and are willing to die for them." --Vaclav Havel " Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err. It passes my comprehension how human beings, be they ever so experienced and able, can delight in depriving other human beings of that precious right." --Mahatma Gandhi All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope. --Sir Winston Churchill "I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all." --Leo C. Rosten CHUCKLES AND BELLY LAUGHS This one from Janet Shields. One of the better descriptions of the female of the species. One U.S. Marine is Better ... A large group of Iraqi soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune.... "One U.S. Marine is better than ten Iraqis." The Iraqi commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune, whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes then silence. The voice then calls out... "One Marine is better than one hundred Iraqis." Furious, the Iraqi commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The Marine's voice calls out again.... "One Marine is better than one thousand Iraqis." The enraged Iraqi commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannons, rockets and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded Iraqi fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander... "Don't send any more men.... it's a trap.... there's two of them!" Awhile ago. Don't underestimate the Irish Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now" said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" Saddam paused. "I must tell you Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on. We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment." "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor." Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke." "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to ye." Paddy rang the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne. We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well." Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" Gee begorra!, said Paddy. "I'll have to ring ye back." Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin' Mr. Hussein. I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war." "I'm sorry to hear that" said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners!" There is a moral here and... This one from Linda Frye One day, while a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water, and she needed the thimble to make her living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with a wooden thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy. Some time later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river. When she cried out, The Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding." "You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband." "Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor woman and am not able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said yes to George Clooney." The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it! From Just For Grins Bud should like this one. After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes," the golfer responded. "Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?" "Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked. "Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?" The golfer thought it over carefully and responded... "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb." Cow on the track! Dr Bill Hamm sent this one to Bud A passenger train is creeping along, painfully slowly. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walking by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" Crayons Bill Hamm for this one too. This one tickled me a bit The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't go no crayons." "Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons.' You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?" "Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all them crayons?" THE GROANERS: Janet Shields for this one. I'm not sure if these Kentuckians are just Hillbillies or if they have another ethnic background in addition to their Billieness. NEWS FLASH!- Albany, KY----- Kentucky's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two University of Kentucky students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in Albany. Search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts. The Cowboy Tom Livingston finally becomes a Groaner contributor. A cowboy lay sprawled across three seats in a posh Tyler Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy. "Sorry sir, but you are only allowed one seat." The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager." The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment, he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried to moved the cowboy, but without success. Finally they summons the police. On arrival, the policeman surveyed the situation briefly and then asked, "All right partner, what's your name?" "Jim," the cowboy moaned. "Where ya from Jim?" With pain in his voice Jim replied, "The Balcony." Gary n' Patti made the list this week. There was this guy and he had a girlfriend named Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work and found that a new girl had started working with him at his office. Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite smitten with her and after a while it became obvious that she was very interested in him too. But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn't do anything with Clearly while he was still going out with his girlfriend. He decided that there was nothing left to do but to break up with Lorraine and get on with Clearly. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Then one day they went for a walk along the riverbank when Lorraine slipped and fell into the river. The current carried her off and she drowned. The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing and smiling and singing......... I can see Clearly now .... Lorraine is gone Bud Casselberry had this in his Jokeletter. A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the local inpatient facility, and he hears all the residents chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!” Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and peeks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the fence starts chanting, “Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!” Congratulations you have finished this week's Newsletter. I hope you have enjoyed the writings, graphics and music. You are welcome to share this information with friends and relatives regardless of their internet affiliation. I look forward to sharing this time with you again next week. SEND EMAIL PLEASE HOME PAGE KCNET NEWSLETTER COMMENTARY AND CLASS SCHEDULE PAGE MIKE'S COMMENTARY, SCHEDULE OF KCNET CLASSES, NEWS & NOTES BY SUE FOUST TECHNICAL PAGE VIRUS AND OTHER STINKY STUFF, TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, INTERESTING SITES KCNET SENIORCENTER.NET HOMEPAGE NEWSLETTER ARCHIVES 2004, 2003, & 2002 KCNET NEWSLETTER MEMBER PAGES
TRIVIA QUOTES CHUCKLES/BELLY LAUGHS & GROANERS
TRIVIA: Biggest Air Strike! In Anerham (Netherlands), Anglo-American armed forces attacked with three big combat divisions on 17 September, 1944. This was the biggest ever air invasion. 2800 fighter planes and 1600 gliders were used in the air combat!
Longest Military Holdup! (664 - 610 B.C) - Ruler of Greece, Saemthik First, surrounded Azothus (Israel) with his troops for 29 years!
(August 30, 1941 - June 27, 1944) - Leningrad (Russia) was under seize by German forces for 880 days. This seize is known as the biggest in the history because 1.3-1.5 million of soldiers and civilians were killed during that time.
Longest Air Strike! Bomber plane called Volcon of Royal Air Force attacked PortStenley (Falkland Islands), 12,875 kilometres away from Britain!
Biggest military buildup in Shortest time! (July 10-12 , 1943) 181,000 soldiers of Allied nations landed in Sicily in just three days!
None of the above stats take into consideration any stats for the actions during the War on Terror.
During the American Civil War, the city of Vicksburg, a crucial confederate seaport located on the Mississippi river, was placed under siege by Union Forces, Commanded by General Ulysses Simpson Grant on May 17, 1863. The devastating siege lasted 48 days, ending on July 4th 1863, with the capture of Vicksburg. During the siege, the Federal Navy shelled Vicksburg a total of 42 consecutive days. A record that stood for 88 years until the end of March 1951, when the United States Navy, during the Korean War reached the 43rd day of a bombardment siege of the vital N. Korean seaports of Wonson, Songjin, and Hungnam located on the east coast of the sea of Japan. The navel siege of these seaports went on to reach a grand total of 861 consecutive days ending on July 27, 1953; when the armistice agreement went into effect. A record 861 consecutive days that probably will never be broken.
The Americans of 1776 had the highest standard of living and the lowest taxes in the Western World!= Farmers, lawyers and business owners in the Colonies were thriving, with some plantation owners and merchants making the equivalent of $500,000 a year. Times were good for many others too. The British wanted a slice of the cash flow and tried to tax the Colonists. They resisted violently, convinced that their prosperity and their liberty were at stake. Virginia's Patrick Henry summed up their stance with his cry: "Give me liberty or give me death!" There were two Boston tea parties!
Everyone knows how 50 or 60 "Sons of Liberty," disguised as Mohawks, protested the 3 cents per pound British tax on tea by dumping chests of the popular drink into Boston Harbor on December 16, 1773. Fewer know that the improper Bostonians repeated the performance on March 7, 1774. The two tea parties cost the British around $3 million in modern money. Benjamin Franklin wrote the first Declaration of Independence!
In 1775, Benjamine Franklin, disgusted with the arrogance of the British and appalled by the bloodshed at Lexington and Concord, wrote a Declaration of Independence. Thomas Jefferson was enthusiastic. But, he noted, many other delegates to the Continental Congress were "revolted at it." It would take another year of bitter conflict to persuade the Congress to vote for the Declaration of Independence written by Jefferson -- with some astute editorial suggestions by Franklin.
QUOTES: "All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope." --Sir Winston Churchill
"Freedom of speech and freedom of action are meaningless without freedom to think. And there is no freedom of thought without doubt." --Bergen Evans The Natural History of Nonsense
"Freedom is always and exclusively freedom for the one who thinks differently." --Rosa Luxemburg
"I have often asked myself why human beings have any rights at all. I always come to the conclusion that human rights, human freedoms, and human dignity have their deepest roots somewhere outside the perceptible world. These values are as powerful as they are because, under certain circumstances, people accept them without compulsion and are willing to die for them." --Vaclav Havel
" Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err. It passes my comprehension how human beings, be they ever so experienced and able, can delight in depriving other human beings of that precious right." --Mahatma Gandhi
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope. --Sir Winston Churchill
"I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all." --Leo C. Rosten
CHUCKLES AND BELLY LAUGHS This one from Janet Shields. One of the better descriptions of the female of the species.
One U.S. Marine is Better ... A large group of Iraqi soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune.... "One U.S. Marine is better than ten Iraqis." The Iraqi commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune, whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes then silence. The voice then calls out... "One Marine is better than one hundred Iraqis." Furious, the Iraqi commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The Marine's voice calls out again.... "One Marine is better than one thousand Iraqis." The enraged Iraqi commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannons, rockets and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded Iraqi fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander... "Don't send any more men.... it's a trap.... there's two of them!"
Awhile ago. Don't underestimate the Irish Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now" said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" Saddam paused. "I must tell you Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on. We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment." "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor." Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke." "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to ye." Paddy rang the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne. We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well." Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" Gee begorra!, said Paddy. "I'll have to ring ye back." Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin' Mr. Hussein. I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war." "I'm sorry to hear that" said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners!"
There is a moral here and... This one from Linda Frye One day, while a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water, and she needed the thimble to make her living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with a wooden thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy. Some time later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river. When she cried out, The Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding." "You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband." "Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor woman and am not able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said yes to George Clooney." The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it!
From Just For Grins Bud should like this one. After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes," the golfer responded. "Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?" "Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked. "Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?" The golfer thought it over carefully and responded... "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
Cow on the track! Dr Bill Hamm sent this one to Bud A passenger train is creeping along, painfully slowly. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walking by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
Crayons Bill Hamm for this one too. This one tickled me a bit The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't go no crayons." "Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons.' You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?" "Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all them crayons?"
THE GROANERS: Janet Shields for this one. I'm not sure if these Kentuckians are just Hillbillies or if they have another ethnic background in addition to their Billieness. NEWS FLASH!- Albany, KY----- Kentucky's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two University of Kentucky students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in Albany. Search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
The Cowboy Tom Livingston finally becomes a Groaner contributor. A cowboy lay sprawled across three seats in a posh Tyler Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy. "Sorry sir, but you are only allowed one seat." The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager." The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment, he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried to moved the cowboy, but without success. Finally they summons the police. On arrival, the policeman surveyed the situation briefly and then asked, "All right partner, what's your name?" "Jim," the cowboy moaned. "Where ya from Jim?" With pain in his voice Jim replied, "The Balcony."
Gary n' Patti made the list this week. There was this guy and he had a girlfriend named Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work and found that a new girl had started working with him at his office. Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite smitten with her and after a while it became obvious that she was very interested in him too. But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn't do anything with Clearly while he was still going out with his girlfriend. He decided that there was nothing left to do but to break up with Lorraine and get on with Clearly. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Then one day they went for a walk along the riverbank when Lorraine slipped and fell into the river. The current carried her off and she drowned. The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing and smiling and singing......... I can see Clearly now .... Lorraine is gone
Bud Casselberry had this in his Jokeletter. A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the local inpatient facility, and he hears all the residents chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!” Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and peeks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the fence starts chanting, “Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!”
Congratulations you have finished this week's Newsletter. I hope you have enjoyed the writings, graphics and music. You are welcome to share this information with friends and relatives regardless of their internet affiliation. I look forward to sharing this time with you again next week.
