GARDEN TIPS: Perfectly Potted Tulips and Hyacinths From Gardening with Deborah Simpson Don't let cold weather keep you from celebrating springtime If you forgot to plant your tulips last fall, or just can't wait for the calendar to roll around to spring, do what many professional designers do. Buy pre-potted bulbs at the garden center, florist shop or other retailer and use them indoors as decorative plants or outdoors for an instant splash of early spring color. More of this article • Pro Shortcuts for Terrific Cut Tulips • Whimsical Planting Ideas for Potted Bulbs • Sophisticated Silly Cut Flowers More About Spring Bulbs • Cold Weather vs. Spring Bulbs • 10 Most Popular Spring Bulbs • Bulbs, Corms, Rhizomes and Tubers Potted tulips, hyacinths, daffodils and other spring flowers are abundant and affordable this time of year. Choose young potted bulb flowers with buds that are formed but not fully opened. You'll enjoy weeks of enjoyment as the stems and flowers grow and mature. What to Look For • For the longest bloom time, select potted bulbs with shoots already "up" with fully formed buds that are not yet flowering, suggests Frans Roozen, technical director of the International Flower Bulb Center in Hillegom, Holland. "Half the fun is watching the flowers grow and get colorful. • A pot of young tulips or hyacinths displayed indoors, for example, could grow up and bloom over a period of weeks. Outside, where the spring weather is still cool, they will grow for a month or even more. • Top candidates include: tulips, hyacinths and daffodils, plus little Iris reticulata and dwarf Narcissi, Anemone blanda, Muscari and crocuses. All are widely available and of best quality in the market this time of year. Home Décor: Using Potted Bulbs Indoors: • Potted bulbs can be enjoyed in their plastic or terra cotta nursery pot, but look even better if repotted or double-potted into a decorative container. • To repot, gently tap out the nursery pot contents (keeping bulbs and soil intact) and repot in one of your own favorite containers (your pot must have a drainage hole and saucer to collect draining water). • To double-pot, just lower the existing potted plant "as is" into a slightly larger, prettier container. You can use a nice container with no drainage hole (often called a cachepot) &endash; or a slightly larger pot with a drainage hole and saucer. • Water to keep soil moist but not soggy. Garden Accents: Using Potted Bulbs Outdoors • If outdoor temperatures are still flirting with freezing in your area, it's a good idea to acclimate the potted bulbs by placing them in an unheated, but protected spot for a few days to toughen them up before planting outdoors. • After planting, acclimated forced bulbs will be oblivious to cold and even sudden snowstorms. Bulb plants are tough customers, whether fall-planted or forced and acclimated for spring planting. • In most cases, it's best to remove the bulbs from their little plastic nursery pots. Replant the individual plants as you would annuals, into rich well drained soil. Water well. • If you choose to plant in outdoor containers, the larger the containers the better to insulate the bulbs from freezing. • Grouping pots of one color together can make a bold statement. Mixing complementary, or even contrasting, colors together can make another statement entirely. Either way is fun. • Use nursery pots to inject "instant color" to fill in the blanks of your spring garden. And, don't forget fragrance. Color is only part of the spring story. Potted hyacinths not only look great, they smell great too. Plant them outdoors in or near entryways to give an olfactory treat for those coming or going. • Surprise someone. When visiting friends or family, bring along a pot or two of hyacinths or tulips and a trowel. In advance of announcing your arrival, find a needy plot of earth near the front door and tuck the colorful little fellows in. Leave a note with instructions to "water well." Your work is done, but the show; and the joy your gift begets; has only just begun!
HOW TO GROW A SWEET POTATO PLANT Use wooden picks to suspend the sweet potato over a clear glass of water with the tip down, having enough water in the glass to cover the bottom of the sweet potato. Keep it in a warm, sunny spot. Soon vines with morning-glory-shaped leaves will appear and climb anywhere you train them. Keep the water level constant (covering just the bottom of the tuber). Change the water occasionally and DO NOT plant in soil. When the individual slips put out four to five leaves, you can snap the new plants off the mother potato.
Easy-Does-It Fertilizers Slow and controlled release fertilizers offer convenience and are safer for both plants and the environment by Warren Davenport printed in Do It Yourself. Gardeners shopping for fertilizer face a bewildering array of choices. There is such a variety of liquids, powders, and granules, all promising fabulous results, that many gardeners essentially give up and choose the most prominent package on the shelf, or the most heavily marketed one. But two types of fertilizers are increasingly important to gardeners: the kinds called slow- and controlled-release. These fertilizers share some similarities but differ in key respects. Rather than releasing a quick rush of nutrients as liquid, soluble crystal, or granular fertilizers do, these release their nutrients slowly over a longer period. Slow-release fertilizers relinquish their nutrients at a less predictable rate that depends mainly on the activity of organisms in the soil. In contrast, controlled-release (sometimes called coated) fertilizers release their nutrients at a specific rate over a specific period of time. A steady diet for plants While no fertilizer is ideal for every garden or situation, slow- and controlled-release kinds offer many advantages for most home gardeners. They avoid the common "feast-or-famine" syndrome that occurs when fast-release fertilizers are applied inconsistently. Roots are briefly surrounded by plenty of nutrients, but these soon wash away again leaving roots to starve. Likewise, fast-release fertilizers are easy to apply in excess consequently damaging the plant. But since slow- and controlled-release fertilizers dole their nutrients out gradually, both potential problems are minimized. Another advantage of slow- and controlled-release fertilizers is environmental. In many areas of the country, waterway, stream, and groundwater pollution is a problem, and some of that pollution has been traced to fertilizers washing through or off lawns. Because these regulated fertilizers release nutrients slowly, they are less likely to contribute to this kind of pollution. In most cases, temperature is the most important influence on release rates. Not only does it affect nutrient diffusion across the coating of controlled-release fertilizers, but it also exerts a major influence on microbial activity, and thus on the release of nutrients from slow-release kinds. Slow-release fertilizers Two kinds of slow-release fertilizers are currently available. Because they are less expensive than controlled-release kinds, they are best used when the precision -- and higher cost -- of controlled-release is not required, and where natural organics are not desired. Synthetic organics. Several kinds of fertilizers are produced by combining urea, a common form of nitrogen, with formaldehyde. These are called urea formaldehyde or methylene urea fertilizers. One example is light blue nitroform, a 38-0-0 nitrogen fertilizer that is 70 percent "water insoluble nitrogen" (abbreviated WIN on product labels). The release rate is determined largely by bacterial activity rather than by temperature and water. Depending upon the manufacturer, nutrients may last weeks or months. Urea formaldehyde-based fertilizers are a component of many lawn and garden fertilizers, such as Jobe's Plant Food Spikes. A similar product is isobutylidene-diurea (IBDU), a 32-0-0 fertilizer, which is 90 percent WIN. Nutrient release is controlled by moisture, pH, and fertilizer particle size (smaller ones release nutrients more quickly). It is also a component of many lawn fertilizers. Natural organics. Many home gardeners favor natural organics, primarily for their soil-improving qualities. There are numerous kinds, and each has unique qualities. Nutrient release rates are highly variable and determined primarily by soil bacteria and fungi, both of which require warm soil temperatures to be active. The more biologically active the soil, the faster the release rate. Examples of natural organics include blood meal, cottonseed meal, soybean meal, fish emulsion, manures, and composts. All are common. Controlled-release fertilizers Currently, there are three prominent kinds of controlled-release fertilizers marketed to home gardeners. While costs vary widely, all are relatively expensive compared to fast-release fertilizers. However accounting for the value of your time and the reduced number of applications they require, their cost is more in line with less expensive, fast-release fertilizers. One of the best reasons for home gardeners to use these fertilizers is that most nursery plants are already accustomed to them. These are the same types of fertilizers that many professional growers use. Compared to natural organic fertilizers, most slow and controlled release kinds are more concentrated, easier to handle, and less expensive (on a cost per nutrient basis); and they are not dependent upon soil microbes and water to make their nutrients available. Another advantage to home gardeners is that these fertilizers have been studied extensively. As a result, their label directions are more specific and far more accurate than the directions on most fertilizer products. The chief disadvantage of these fertilizers is the same as that of any other kind of synthetic fertilizer: They do not directly contribute organic matter to the soil or otherwise improve the soil's physical characteristics. Nutricote. Various formulations are available, all based upon common fertilizers including ammonium nitrate, ammonium phosphate, calcium phosphate, potassium nitrate, and magnesium phosphate. Granules of fertilizer are coated with a thermoplastic resin and a proprietary chemical release agent. Depending upon the formulation, the spherical gray pellets release nutrients for up to a year at 77 o F. The release rate is influenced primarily by temperature but also by water acting on the release agent. Nutricote is marketed to home gardeners as Dynamite Plant Food. Nutri-Pak . Another type of controlled-release fertilizer, called Nutri-Pak, consists of specially designed plastic packets that gradually release the soluble fertilizer inside. Developed by the soil science department of the University of Wisconsin, gardeners drop one or more opened packages into the planting hole. The packs can remain effective in the soil for up to five years. Osmocote . This industry standard for 30 years offers a wide variety of specialized formulations. All begin as a granular complete fertilizer, which is normally composed of ammonium nitrate, ammonium phosphate, calcium phosphate, and potassium sulfate. These granules are then coated with a type of plastic (an alkyd resin) to form a tiny, nearly spherical yellowish-brown spheres. The coating's thickness, along with temperature, determines how long the fertilizer lasts. For instance the 14-14-14 lasts four to five months at soil temperatures of 60 o F, three to four months at 70 o F, and one to two months at 80 o F. Compared to other controlled-release fertilizers, Osmocote releases more nutrients in cooler soils. Polyon. Several formulations are available, and all are based on fertilizers such as urea, ammonium nitrate, ammoniated phosphates, potassium sulfate, potassium nitrate. The green pellets have a thin, hard, and nearly break-resistant polymer shell. Nutrient release is regulated primarily by temperature, allowing extremely predictable results. Depending upon the formula, the green particles release nutrients for three to nine months at 86 o F. Polyon is marketed to home gardeners as Pursell's Sta-Green. Other kinds. Two other controlled-release fertilizers are sulfur-coated urea 36-0-0, usually abbreviated SCU, and polymer-encapsulated SCU. Both are made by spraying molten sulfur onto granular urea. In the case of plain SCU, the thickness of the sulfur coating (along with temperature and moisture) determine the release rate. SCU is relatively inexpensive and is a component of various brands of home lawn fertilizers. As its name states, polymer-encapsulated SCU is coated with a thin polymer layer, a step that makes it last longer. Both SCU and polymer-coated SCU are used in many lawn and garden fertilizers. How to use The key benefits of slow- and controlled-release fertilizers are their ease of use, reduced number of applications, and more specific and accurate directions on the product label. However, if you have never used them before, you might have general questions. Here are guidelines for some common situations. Houseplants. Actual nutrient needs depend upon the particular plant and how fast it's growing. Especially in fall through spring, when growth slows and water needs decrease, use at half the recommended rate. However, if growth is fast, as in a sunroom or under artificial lights, or if new leaves are pale yellow, increase the rate. Outdoor container plants. Fertilize most outdoor container plants at the recommended rate. Start just before spring growth starts, and choose a fertilizer according to how long your plants will remain in the pots (which may be the same as the length of your season). In most areas, make one application of an eight- to nine-month formulation, or two of a three- to four-month one. Lawns. Most quality brands of lawn fertilizer contain a significant proportion of controlled- release nitrogen. The most commonly used sources are SCU, methylene urea, or polymer-coated urea. Lawn-fertilizing schedules abound. Generally it is best to fertilize lawns just prior to periods of active growth. That means spring and fall for cool-season, northern grasses; spring and summer for warm-season southern grasses. Most northern lawns need about 2 to 3 pounds of "actual" nitrogen for every 1,000 square feet each season to remain healthy; southern lawns of Bermuda grass need twice that. Calculate the needed amount of fertilizer by dividing the pounds of actual nitrogen you want to apply by the percent (as a decimal) of the nitrogen in your fertilizer. For example, 11 pounds of an 18 percent nitrogen fertilizer equals 2 pounds of actual nitrogen. Check with your local cooperative extension agent for specifics, and follow label recommendations. Landscape plants. If your plants are closely grouped and the roots overlap, scatter 10 to 15 pounds of a three- to four-month 14-14-14 controlled-release fertilizer over 1,000 square feet. The best time is late winter or early spring. Repeat again in late fall. If applied only once a year, spread 17 to 22 pounds of 18-6-12 over the same area. Flowers. For indoor flowers, follow the directions for houseplants. For annuals or perennials, apply as directed for landscape plants. Apply at planting time or shortly after. Incorporate the fertilizer into the top 2 to 3 inches of soil, or scatter it evenly over the soil surface. Don't pile it on or near the plant's base. Vegetables. Fast-maturing cool-weather vegetables such as radishes and lettuce are best fertilized with a fast-release fertilizer, because the soils are too cool to allow nutrient release from most slow-release, controlled-release, or organic fertilizers. For warm-season crops such as tomatoes and corn, use a three- to four-month 14-14-14 controlled-release fertilizer at planting time. Incorporate at a rate of about 10 pounds over 500 square feet of soil. Comparing fertilizer costs The best way to compare costs of fertilizers is to calculate the cost per pound of its nitrogen. Multiply the weight of the material by the percentage of nitrogen (as a decimal), then divide that number into the price. For example, the nitrogen in a $3.97, 1 1/4-pound package of 14-14-14 costs $22.69 per pound: $3.97 - (1.25 x .14).
QUOTES: "The world is divided into people who do things--and people who get the credit." --Dwight Morrow
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? --Milton Berle
"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage." --Mark Russell
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." --Mark Twain
"Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle." --Abraham Lincoln
"Our envy of others devours us most of all." --Alexander Solzhenitsyn
"I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor." --Henry David Thoreau
"If we did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves." --Thomas A. Edison
"Compete, don't envy." --Moroccan Proverb
"And oft, my jealousy shapes faults that are not." --Shakespeare
"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -- real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." --Alfred D'Souza
CUTIES: Bud Casselberry sent this one. A man walks into a restaurant and explains to the manager that he's from the mental hospital up the street. He says he would like to bring a group of the better-adjusted patients in for a meal, as part of their socialization process. The manager says that would be fine, he's always glad to support the local community. "Fine", says the visitor, "but one other thing. We don't allow the patients to have money, so they all carry bottle caps. They will offer these for payment, just take them and I'll settle with you afterwards". The manager agrees, and they set a date. The patients come in, order, enjoy their meal, are extremely polite to the waitress's, and when they leave, thank the manager and give him large handfuls of bottle caps. The manager tells the man from the hospital how pleased he is, and presents him the bill. He looks at it and says "That's a little more than I expected, You got change for a manhole cover?"
From Joke of the day Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program. He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year. That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired. He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position. Hopkins wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me."
Bud sent this one too. The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so. The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before the librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other librarian we had could write."
From Today's Joke. A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. "What did you take?" his priest asked. "Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake." "This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?" "No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."
John Laubscher sent this one over to me. A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws."
Equal time. Tom Livingston sent this version. A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jackasses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
This would never happen at KCnet. When a guy's printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job himself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?" "Actually, it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."
THE GROANERS: Real Groaner Humor Larry Stover and Wayne Smith suggested these. 1. How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique Up On It. 2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way, Unique Up On It. 3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path 4. How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It. 5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam! 6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroids 7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick. 8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese. 9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate Clauses. 10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quatro Sinko. 11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk. 12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite. 13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck. 14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Anyone Can Roast Beef. 15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him. 16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because They Have Big Fingers. 17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog. 18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka. 19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover? The Location Of The Dirt Bag. 20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat. 21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack. 22. How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same? Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
New Definitions More of the same silliness. This set of definitions from Irishrose, Rosemary Bednarczyk ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MYTH: A female moth. MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. RAISIN: A sunburned grape. SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time. SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.
The Wonder Dog Joke of the Day A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks. The dog looked up and said, "Don't be surprised. This is part of my job." "Incredible!" muttered the man. "I can't believe it! I'm going to tell your boss what a prize he has in you. An animal that can talk!" "No, no," pleaded the dog. "Please don't! If that man finds out I can talk, he make me answer the phone as well!"
Bud sent this one. About the new restaurant that just opened up on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
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