GARDEN TIPS: Customize your daily weather report. Start your gardening year with the weather as your guide. Weather.com has an interesting feature available that allows one to choose a weather presentation to suit the interests. One of the options is to have the forecasts and current data available for your zip code along with suggestions and recommendations for gardening activities. The site below allows you to program for gardening. You can choose from categories such as scenic driving, events, golf, health, home and garden, lawn and garden, recreation, ski, and travel. http://www.weather.com/activities/homeandgarden/?from=globalnav
How to Grow New Potatoes From Gardening with Deborah Simpson. 1 As soon as the ground can be worked in the spring, select a sunny spot in the garden and prepare the planting space by working a 3- to 5-inch layer of organic compost or aged manure deeply into the soil. Skip step 2. 2 When using chemical fertilizers, mix deeply into soil before planting time. High nitrogen fertilizer will cause heavy foliage growth (fewer potatoes). Contact a local garden center for a recommendation suitable for your area. 3 Remove weeds and break up clumps of soil. A pH of 5.2 to 6.0 is preferable, so you'll probably not want to select a spot that has been recently limed. Stay away from areas where potatoes or tomatoes were grown the previous year. 4 Select an early variety such as 'Superior', 'Norgold Russet', 'Norland', 'Red Ruby', 'Epicure', 'Red Gold' or preferably one suggested as a good local variety by your county agent or a reputable local garden center. 5 Cut the seed potatoes so that each piece has 2 to 3 "eyes", but make sure each one weighs at least 1 oz. Allow the cut pieces to dry for a couple of days before planting, or if you are planting immediately, dip them in sulfur. 6 Dig shallow trenches 3" wide and 4" deep, allowing 2 to 3 feet between each trench. 7 As early as 4 weeks before your last spring frost, plant 1 seed potato for every 12 inches of trench, then cover with 2 to 3 inches of soil. Do not allow the soil to dry out. 8 Within a few weeks, the potatoes will sprout through the soil. When they have grown 6-8 inches, mound up the soil leaving only about 4 inches of top growth. 9 2 to 3 weeks later, as more top growth appears, cover the stems with soil once more to provide more space for the tiny potatoes to form beneath the soil. Follow with a mulch of leaves or straw. 10 If you must cultivate the soil to remove weeds, do it carefully since the tubers grow very close to the surface and can be easily damaged. 11 If you don't get 1 inch of rainfall per week, water the plants. Check the tops of the foliage each morning to see if they have begun to wilt. If the least bit of wilting has occurred, water the plants profusely. 12 When the plants begin to flower, it's time to begin harvesting. If you've selected a variety that doesn't bloom, check for new potatoes after the indicated number of days have passed for harvest, usually 60-75 days. 13 Gently scratch the side of the hill to uncover the baby potatoes. Harvest only what you intend to eat within the next few days, since they are perishable. 14 If you want to leave some potatoes to reach full maturity, allow the foliage to wither naturally at the end of the season, then withhold water for about 2 weeks so that the skins can harden for storage. 15 Then remove ALL potatoes from the garden to keep the soil healthy. Tips: 1 If your seed potatoes arrive before you're ready to plant, keep them in a cool but well-lit place. If kept in a dark place they'll form long sprouts that can weaken them. Note: Fat, short sprouts are normal. 2 After planting, it is important to keep the developing tubers covered. Sunlight can cause them to turn green and become toxic.
Bye-Bye Bambi If you live in deer country, your garden's always at risk of hungry does and bucks seeking fresh young shoots. You can erect huge fencing (which is costly, unsightly and quite a chore), or try more down-home solutions. Gardeners in New England have long protected their garden by surrounding its perimeter with little mesh bags containing Ivory Soap, anti-static-cling dryer strips or (for the voodoo in you) human hair. The basic premise: Deer fear people, and anything that smells likes us will frighten them off. Kitty Laubscher and Sue Foust tie or staple white plastic bags at different levels around the planted area. They seem to work. I'm not sure if the Scots grocery store bags are better than the generic trash can liners but they tie easier. (MLF) From doityourself.com
Fruit Tree Diseases To Spray For In March Spray apples, pears, and loquats for fireblight. Remove any diseased blackened twigs at least 9 inches below affected area. Use a fixed copper spray such as Microcop or Bordeaux during blossom. For brown rot on stone fruit use a fixed copper spray also at blossom time. The blossom times are slightly different, so watch your tree to determine when to spray.
March is a good time for checking Powdery Mildew On Roses Now is the time to get it under control. It is a fungus that forms powdery masses on the leaf, stem, and bud, distorting and stunting them. The approved method of control is a fungicide like Funginex. Research was done by the USDA. Six materials were compared to a fungicide spray program, targeting blackspot and powdery mildew. Safer Insecticidal Soap, Wilt Pruf, Volck Oil, Volck Oil plus baking soda, neem oil, and neem wax were applied weekly for 22 weeks. The most effective was Funginex, but neem wax, neem oil, Safer's, and Volck Oil plus baking soda showed marked reduction. To each gallon of water add 3 - 4 tsp. horticultural oil (Volck Oil) and 3 - 4 tsp. Arm and Hammer Baking Soda. Pest Note, Powdery Mildew.
What To Look For When Buying Seedlings Bigger is not always better. The smaller plant may be less developed, but will take root faster in your garden. Quality is what's important. Look for dark green leaves and a thick stem with no yellowing or shriveling. Be sure to check the under side of the leaves for insects or clusters of eggs. Also check the bottom of the pot for too many roots growing through the hole; it's been in the pot too long. Pop the cell out at the nursery and only buy the ones without matted roots.
QUOTES: "I sit here all day trying to persuade people to do the things they ought to have sense enough to do without my persuading them... That's all the powers of the President amount to." -- Harry S. Truman
If I have to sit in the corner for sayin' it, at least you could tell me what it means! --Dennis the Menace
"Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck." --Daryl Stout
"I get my exercise acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise." --Chauncey Depew
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." --G.K. Chesterton
"Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these." -- Susan B. Anthony
"I can resist everything except temptation." --Oscar Wilde
". . . never flinch, never weary, never despair." --Winston Churchill
"Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better." --Albert Camus
"If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang." --Charley Reese
"Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time." --Goethe
CUTIES: Please, allow me one more Irish story. Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Washington, DC parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the US Senate for assistance. The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is Senator Daschle. How might I help you?" "And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St.Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?" Senator Daschle, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!" There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, that's certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.
Shoulda been there from the start Thanks to Bud Casselberry A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. "You will understand," he said, "the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss's wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people." Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession."
Why Men Are Just Happier People! Wayne Smith gets credit for this one. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood, ALL the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $6.95 for a three-pack. Everything on your face stays its original color. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You don't have to shave below your neck. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
What Did The Doctor Say? From Joke of the Day Click Here! A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die. "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. "Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly. "If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "He said you're going to die," she replied.
Future politician, learning about spin. A young boy, about eight years old, was at the store picking out a large box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said. "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him." But the boy was not stopped by this and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog. About a week later the boy was back in the store doing some shopping. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer said, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog." "Well," the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him. "Oh I'm sorry. How did he die?" "I think it was the spin cycle."
Big Business In America Joke of the Day The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action. The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team. So as race day neared the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: Four steering managers, three area steering managers and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive. The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.
Advice through the back door. Just for Grins A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a minister and poured out his story of tears and woe. When he had finished, the minister said, "Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do." A year later the businessman went back to the minister and brought his wife and children with him. The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave it to the minister as a donation in thanks for his advice. The Rabbi recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked. "Absolutely," replied the businessman. "You went to the beach?" "Absolutely." "You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?" "That's right!" "You let the pages rifle until they stopped?" "Sure did!" "And what were the first words you saw?" inquired the minister. The businessman looked him in the eye and said, "Chapter 11."
THE GROANERS: This one from Just for Grins. A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live. Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and change her hair colour. She figures that since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrives in front of God again and asks, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?" God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."
This one is pretty bad, actually very bad. Just for Grins pubbed it. One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses. At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"
Another from Just for Grins A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses. "Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400." "How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?" The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes and sobbed, "I'm the landlord."
The final groaner for this week is from Wayne Wert and it is a good one. Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?" The shepherd, always the gentleman, said, "Sure!" The blonde thought for a moment and, for no discernible reason, said, "352." This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock." The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others. When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?
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