Now I know it's only May and Memorial Day still looms on the horizon, but I could not help myself yesterday. We were cruising toward the big mall, the one that you have to go down river for but you travel north to do it, when I spied CORN. There it was, thousands of tiny sprigs, pushing through the ground in neat rows. I yelled, "Sue jump off the speedway and get down there on 150." We were in the Olds so she was the pilot. Well, I was all beside myself with the find and started calculating the non corn eating days left till the Fourth. In my mind those rows represented a pile of steaming ears just oozing with a lethal dose of hot butter and salt. I clicked off a picture or two and settled back into the car. I started rambling about how great that corn will be when Sue interrupted with the announcement that we were at a "Doebler Field" and those wonderful rows would become seed corn. Well that still did not ruin my dream. When got home I checked the front yard and much to my surprise three of the pear trees were showing the start of a tremendous crop. We also have a Yellow Delicous apple tree. It too is showing signs of a bumper crop. You see, in years past, these trees would blossom in May, the bees would begin doing their thing like they are supposed to, when all of a sudden the Memorial Day weekend hits and a full moon jumps out and we get a killing frost. The blossoms tan and drop off. The trees turn green but the fruit production becomes one pint of pear jelly and two apple pies. Ha, Ha, too late to do damage this year. Proof you say! Click for the Corn Click for the Pears While you are in the clicking mood check out Lock Haven's West Main Street on Saturday afternoon. This is the one remaining tree on West Main Street from Triangle Park to the end of the new "Downtown Beautification Project."
THIS WEEK'S SCHEDULE: Tuesday 5/23/00 @9:00 AM Tuesday Newbies (fifth session of six sessions) This is a very basic course in computer techniques for the internet. Skills taught in the beginner classes include mouse techniques like drag and drop, plus very beginner basics for email and browsing the Web. Future summer daytime class times and dates for Newbie Classes will be announced soon. Mike Foust will provide the leadership for this class. It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it sure helps with the learning curve.
Tuesday 5/23/00 @1:00 PM CREATE WEB PAGES We should have some digital shots of sites to begin developing pages for KCnet businesses and organizations. There are a few members who need some assistance with their pages also. We might be able to update and enhance some of the sections of our Senior site www.seniorcenter.net. We also have two scanners installed in the lab so bring pics if you want. The techniques used to do Home Pages require a very basic understanding of Window techniques like saving files, creating folders, copy, paste, etc. in addition to the challenges of HTML (Hyper Text Markup Language). Participants should understand and be able to perform tasks like saving files, creating folders, cut, copy, paste, etc. with a minimum of assistance. So if you have a flair for creativity, able to type, want to create a personal home page, willing to be frustrated, and want to learn and contribute labor this is the class to wander into.
Tuesday 5/23/00 @5:00 PM Tuesday Evening Newbies (sixth session of six sessions) The next Tuesday Evening Newbie class for beginners is scheduled to start 5/30/00. There will be a $12.00 charge for this class. Class size is limited. Interested participants should pre register. This is a very basic course in computer techniques for the internet. Skills taught in the beginner classes include mouse techniques like drag and drop, plus very beginner basics for email and browsing the Web. Dave Winkleman provides the leadership for this class. It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it sure helps with the learning curve.
Wednesday 5/24/00 @9:00 AM Wednesday group of Senior Net Learners: We cover a lot of territory in this class. We are kind of free flowing. You never know what will transpire. We get into some interesting discussions and subject matter We entertain questions from the group. I will have some new areas to explore. (my sides still ache from all the laughing we were subjected to last week) New participants are always welcome. It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it sure helps with the learning curve. Mike Foust, and anyone else who wants to jump into the fray, will provide the leadership for this session. Intermediate computer knowledge and Intermediate computer skills are necessary.
Wednesday 5/24/00 @ 1:00 PM Wednesday Newbies (second session of six sessions) Pre registration is open for this class. New folks may still start this week. There will be a $12.00 per course charge for this class. This is a very basic course in computer techniques for the internet. Skills taught in the beginner classes include mouse techniques like drag and drop, plus very beginner basics for email and browsing the Web. Mike Foust will provide the leadership for this class. It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it sure helps with the learning curve.
Thursday 5/25/00 @ 9:00 AM Thursday Intermediates (fifth session of six sessions) This class is full. Some topics to be addressed include: Basics of maneuvering about the Windows Operating System, copy/paste, drag/drop, editing, saving to various drives, right mouse button options, creating folders and files, uninstalling, deleting, advanced email and browser techniques involving bookmarks, address books, forwarding messages, attachments, and HTML (Hyper Text Markup Language). Last week we learned how to make personal folders on the Hard Drive and we copied and cut files. We learned the techniques of uninstalling versus deleting and when each is appropiate. We explored email and how to do HTML with the mail. We changed font size and color. We added pics and backgrounds. We learned how to make attachments in email. We listened to a lot of music. We will review all these skills this week plus bring a blank floppy or two. We'll have some floppies with .mid and .gif files on them for you to take home. The atmosphere is light and the learning is bodacious!! Sound like fun? Lots of demonstrating and "hands on" -- the computers. Mike Foust will provide the leadership for this session. Many thanks to volunteers, Tom Livingston and Barb (BJ) Miller, for their help with the hands on part of the sessions. Beginner computer knowledge and beginner computer skills are necessary A ton of info is packed into the six sessions.
The schedule for summer educational progarams is being developed. You might want to check with the KCnet desk for classes and times. Phone inquiries can be made to 893-8111.
INTERESTING SITES: And some say there's nothing to do around here! Baldardash!! Concerts on the River Stage. www.lockhavencity.org/concert.htm
Fun and Educational Events Scheduled for Clinton County. www.clintoncountyinfo.com/Calendar.htm
This weeks search engine site. Search Engines Galore is changing its name to MetaIQ.com. Either way, it's a site where you can enter a keyword and then choose to look it up in 9 major search sites at once, including Fast, Alta Vista, Direct Hit, Goto, Infoseek, LookSmart, OpenDirectory, Yahoo! and WebCrawler. Galore also links to hundreds of specialized search engines and sites. www.searchenginesgalore.com/
You'll love me for this one. Mensa is an organization whose entire membership of 100,000 has IQ's in the top two percent of the population. Although you can't qualify for membership online, you can take the Mensa Workout. Guaranteed to be stimulating or headache-inducing, depending on your mood, you have 30 minutes to solve 30 problems like "What is the number that is one half of one quarter of one tenth of 400?". After automatically tabulating your score, the Workout will tell you if you're likely to be Mensa material. If not, then you probably don't want to know that Mensa's youngest member is only four years old. www.mensa.org/workout.html
Might starve but could be worth a try. Getting sick of meatloaf? Then select a country from the map of Asia, from Mongolia to Malaysia, for a list of regional recipes. You'll end up with dozens of main dishes, desserts, sauces, even vegetarian dishes. Don't let your lack of technique hold you back. Even if your kitchen experience is limited to the toaster, The Cooking Methods section will teach you how to stir-fry, de-bone chickens, and poach properly. The Herbs section covers everything from edible flowers to folklore and alternative medicine. There's even extensive backgroud information on each Asian country, including history, climate, culture, and a map. Still have questions? Then head to the message boards and ask other Asian cooking fans. www.asiarecipe.com
A different way to purchase. You've probably heard of online auction Web sites, like eBay. E-Wanted is kind of like one of those sites turned upside down--it's a reverse auction. Post a description of what you want. Then sit back and wait for others to start offering to sell it to you. Competing sellers bid the price down until the lowest offer is left standing. Or, if you're looking to sell, browse thousands of buyer's entries organized into over one hundred categories. You'll find everything from Horses to Internet domain names! Who knows? Someone might be willing to pay top dollar for that orange beanbag you've been storing in the garage. Note: This site only connects buyers and sellers, it's up to both parties to work out the details of the transaction. Fortunately, E-Wanted uses a rating system so you can see a buyer's track record. www.ewanted.com
By now everyone should be registered for these but just in case...the fun sites. www.justsaywow.com/babydance.htm www.justsaywow.com/wishes.htm www.send4fun.com/eyesoflove.htm www.justsaywow.com/gofigure.htm www.justsaywow.com/gotiron.htm
Questions And Answers You Really Don't Need To Consider: Does a cat's purr mean that it's contented? Whatever it means, it sure makes the person living with the cat melt when they hear it. They know they're picking up good vibrations. So what is kitty trying to communicate with this sexy sound? In truth, just about anything. It's an all-purpose noise, first used by the mother to summon her newborn and still sightless and hearing-impaired kittens. The vibrations lead them to mama. But don't try to tell that to a cat lover. They know it means that after six years of expensive cat food and unconditional love, Tabby may finally consent to sit on their lap. Pretty please! Purr.
HOW MUCH SYRUP DOES THE AVERAGE SUGAR MAPLE TREE YIELD EACH SEASON? One to one and a quarter quarts.
WHICH BIRD STRAYS AS FAR AS 2,500 MILES FROM ITS NEST TO FIND FOOD FOR ITS YOUNG? The albatross, which has the largest wingspan of any living bird - over 11 feet.
HOW MANY MUSCLES DOES A CATERPILLAR HAVE? Four thousand - more than five times as many as a human.
HOW MANY ICEBERGS ARE THERE IN THE WORLD? Approximately 320,000.
WHAT IS A DIADROMOUS FISH? A fish - such as salmon or sturgeon - that can exist in both salt water and fresh water.
HOW MANY AVERAGE-SIZE HOUSES CAN YOU MAKE FROM ONE GIANT SEQUOIA - THE BIGGEST LIVING THING ON EARTH TODAY? Fifty. The sequoia often extends 300 feet in height and 25 feet in diameter. Its seed weighs only 1/6000 ounce.
To Ponder: From Life's Little Treasure Book, "On Things That Really Matter," by H. Jackson Brown, Jr. How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment befgore starting to improve their world. --Anne Frank
Love, respect, and home-grown tomatoes are all that really matter in the end. --Robert Waller
You and I cannot determine what other men shall think and say about us we can only determine what they ought to think of us and say about us. --Josiah Gilbert Holland
I've learned that... ...the quality of my life is enhanced by volunteeering. --Age 36
...the older I get, the more I appreciate the times my parents said no. --Age 17
...your conscience will sometimes hurt when everything else feels good. --Age 52
THIS WEEK'S CUTIES: It was one of the most gruesome cases ever to come before the court in the small town, and if found guilty, the defendant would spend the rest of his life behind bars. The case had not been proceeding well for the defense. Though there was no direct evidence, the circumstantial evidence was quite compelling. The only chance the lawyer had was to cast some doubt in the minds of the jurors. His only hope was to attack the testimony of the medical examiner. Lawyer: "And prior to declaring the victim dead, did you check his pulse"? Doctor: "No." Lawyer: "Did you perform CPR?" Doctor: "No." Lawyer: "Did you do anything to determine if the victim was still alive prior to declaring him dead?" Doctor: "No." Lawyer: "Then, Doctor, isn't it possible that prior to declaring the victim dead that, in fact, he may have been alive and that it was your negligence that caused the death?" Doctor: "Aside from the fact that his brain was in a jar, I suppose he could have been out practicing law."
Sorry Pete!!
What job ads *really* mean:
"Competitive Salary" We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.
"Join our fast-paced company" We have no time to train you.
"Casual work atmosphere" We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"Some overtime required" Some every night and some every weekend.
"Duties will vary" Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"Must have an eye for detail" We have no quality assurance.
"Career-minded" Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"Apply in person" If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told that the position has been filled.
"Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience" You'll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
"Problem-solving skills a must" You're walking into perpetual chaos.
"Requires team leadership skills" You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"Good communication skills" Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
15 SIGNS THAT YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 90's: Thanks to Linda Frye. 1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
6. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
7. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
8. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
9. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
10. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
11. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
12. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
13. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.
14. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
15. Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else.
Ruth Copenhaver sent this photo of the latest Arkansas Motorcycle.
I hope you enjoyed this communication and can attend one or more of the sessions scheduled for this week.
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