Hi!!  Which is exactly what I am right now - way high.
I just got back from two days attendance at the Greater Hamboree and Computerfest held annually, the last  weekend in March, and located on the  Maryland State Fairgrounds at Timonium, Maryland.  In case you really want to know, Timonium is shoved right up against Towson, which is shoved up against Baltimore, Maryland which is  the home of the Baltimore Orioles, Camden Yards, and the Inner Harbor.   In fact, Timonium is the last exit off of Interstate 83 just before it turns into the Baltimore Beltway which is  Interstate 695.
So, just what is the big darn deal about this, you might think, and what is a Hamboree and Computerfest?  Even if you didn't wonder about it, I'm going to tell you anyway.  The Hamboree part is a convention like affair for people who practice Ham Radio.  Now these folks are a different lot.  You might think that there are some interesting "Computer Geeks" in this world  but I say that "We" do not hold a candle to our "Ham Radio Ancestors."   These folks all wear their "Call letters" on pins on their hats, shirts, socks, etc.  They refer to each other by these "Call Letters"  instead of Tom or Bob.  They actually take tests in Morse Code and attempt to contact folks who are marooned on far away islands and other planets.  They carry  "Walkie Talkies" and frequently clutch their microphones which are clipped on their shirt sleeves or on their shirt pockets along with their pocket protectors, pens, pencils and spiral ringed note pad.  It looks like they are constantly talking into their armpits as they walk about.  I suspect this culture was the forerunnner to the CB Radio fanatics. These folks were known by their "Handles"  like "Seaweed"  or  "Raindrop" or "Weed Hopper" and I suspect that they are directly responsible for the various techniques exercised by todays  more modern communicators who carry and use "Beepers" and "Cell Phones."
Even after all that,  I must tell you that they throw a whale of a party.  There are three main buildings on the Fairgrounds.  The
Exposition Hall, The Home Arts Building and the Cow Palace (and that is just what it is) where Hundreds of commercial
vendors set up displays and sell their wares.  There is a GIANT flea market set up on the hard tarvy parking area where
hundreds more sellers set up tables, spread blankets, drop the tailgate on the '52 Ford station wagon, or just plop the wares
on the ground in old cardboard boxes and challenge you to DEAL.  Anything relating to electronics, radios,
telecommunications, tools, etc, that was ever made, 100 years ago or yesterday,  is available somewhere on the fairgrounds.
Now another exciting thing  that I can tell you is that Spring is very close.  This trek each year just wakes me up.  Timonium is
about three weeks ahead of us for "Real Spring."   The forsythia is radianting its brilliant sunshine yellow and all the fruit trees
and many spring flowers are in blossom and bloom.  Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful!

THIS WEEK'S SCHEDULE:
Tuesday 3/28/00 @9:00 AM
Tuesday Newbies (third session of six sessions)
This class is full.  The next Tuesday Newbie class for beginners is scheduled to begin 4/25/00.   The next Wednesday
Newbies class starts April 5. There will be a $12.00 per course charges for these classes.  Class size is limited.   Interested
participants should pre register.  This is a very basic course in computer techniques for the internet.   Skills taught in the
beginner classes include mouse techniques like drag and drop, plus very beginner basics for email and browsing the Web.
Mike Foust will provide the leadership for this class.
It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it sure helps with the learning curve.

Wednesday 3/29/00 @9:00 AM
Wednesday group of Senior Net Learners:  This should be the final session on  Home Page development.  We will do quick
reviews on the techniques for the home page including saving all graphics and text in the same file. Then it is time to publish the
work.  We will learn how to use FTP.  The techniques used to do Home Pages require the very basic understanding of
Window techniques like saving files, creating folders, copy, paste, etc. in addition to the challenge of HTML (Hyper Text
Markup Language).
Please suggest ideas for future sessions.  Topics suggested include ZIP and MS Dos sessions and an Introduction to
Newsgroups.  New participants are always welcome.  It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it sure
helps with the learning curve.  Mike Foust will provide the leadership for this session.
Intermediate computer knowledge and Intermediate computer skills are necessary.

Wednesday 3/29/00 @ 1:00 PM
Wednesday Newbies (sixth session of six sessions)
Interested participants should pre register for the Tuesday Newbies Class beginning April 25 or the next Wednesday Newbies
Class scheduled for April 5. There will be a $12.00 per course charge for this class. Class size is limited so interested
participants should pre register. This is a very basic course in computer techniques for the internet.   Skills taught in the
beginner classes include mouse techniques like drag and drop, plus very beginner basics for email and browsing the Web.
Mike Foust will provide the leadership for this class.  It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it sure
helps with the learning curve.

Thursday 3/30/00 @ 9:00 AM
Thursday Intermediates (third session of six sessions)
Wow!! What a first & second session we had.  Although the class size is rather large we had a good time learning all about the
Windows Operating System, exploring the Desktop, making shortcuts, and playing with Wallpaper and Screen Savers and
then we jumped into transfering files from a floppy to the hard drive and "vice-a-versie" and how to copy from a floppy to a
floppy.  We explored how to make and  preview files and choose file views plus a bunch of other neat stuff.  Remember .gif,
.jpeg, .mid, .txt, .doc, .tiff, .wav, .bmp, .wmf, .dll, it seems like there are a million .stuffs.  Now we have surely learned enough
to be VERY DANGEROUS.  We'll see when all get together again this Thursday.
Thanks again to Tom Livingston and Barb "BJ" Miller for their assistance.
Registrations are being accepted for the next Intermediate Class scheduled for April 27, 2000.  Sign up Now. Some topics
to be addressed include:  Basics of maneuvering about the Windows Operating System, copy/paste, drag/drop,  editing,
saving to various drives, right mouse button options, creating folders and files, uninstalling, deleting, advanced email and
browser techniques involving bookmarks, address books, forwarding messages, attachments, and HTML (Hyper Text
Markup Language)
Whew, what a lineup!!  Sound like fun?  Lots of demonstrating and "hands on" -- the computers.
Mike Foust will provide the leadership for this session.  Beginner computer knowledge and beginner computer skills are
necessary.

You might want to check with the KCnet desk for other classes scheduled for this spring.  There are a BUNCH OF 'EM.

INTERESTING SITES:
NETWATCH FOR PARENTS: A Site of the Day
Parents who are concerned about what their children view in Netscape should know about Netscape's NetWatch feature. Based on rating levels you, as a parent, set through Netscape's home page, you can limit your child's access to Web pages you deem inappropriate. The rating levels are based on the PICS (Platform for Internet Content Selection) standard and are compatible with both the Recreational Software Advisory Council (RSACi; "i" for internet) and SafeSurf. Setup is free.
 Go To Netwatch

ANOTHER SEARCH ENGINE:  A Site of the Day
SimpliFind is a patent-pending (ooh, so cool) technology at the Simpli.com site. Supposedly it improves search, navigation and information retrieval on the net using linguistics and cognitive science R&D. In other words, it serves up search results that pleased people with similar search queries, working not just with the specific words but with their context and concept.
 SimpliFind Search Engine

FUN SITES FOR SPRING:  Thanks to Leatha Archer for the first one.
 Spring One
 Spring Two

THE ULTIMATE WEB PAGE:  Thanks to KCnet Board Member Rena Dietrich.
 The Ultimate
 

DIDJA  KNOW?:
I"M THROWING THIS ON IN FOR THE START OF POLLEN SEASON.
WHAT IS AN ITCH?
We don't exactly know. We visit the planets, map the human genome, and split the atom. But an itch is still largely that
which you scratch, one of medicine's last frontiers.  It's a stimulus affecting the nerve endings between the dermis  and epidermis; scientists liken it to a form of pain. But that's neither here nor there. It's usually caused by histamine released in the epidermis. Scratching stops it, either by interfering with the nerve impulses or by temporarily damaging the nerves themselves. That's it.  So if you would like to make your mark in medicine, investigate the itch. But you won't get much help from research so far. You'll just have to start from scratch.
(Source: ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA)

STUFF YOU REALLY DON'T NEED TO KNOW UNLESS SOMEONE ASKS.
HOW MANY FRECKLES DID THE EARLY TV PUPPET HOWDY DOODY HAVE?
48 - one for each state in the union at the time.

WHAT IS THE DIAMETER OF EACH OF THE TWO MAIN CABLES ON SAN FRANCISCO'S GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE?
3 feet - or 36.5 inches, to be exact. There are 25, 572 wires contained in each of the cables.

HOW MANY JURORS WERE DISMISSED DURING THE COURSE OF O.J. SIMPSON'S DOUBLE MURDER TRIAL?
10.

QUOTES:

Elbow grease is the best polish.
     -- English Proverb

A good garden may have some weeds.
     -- Thomas Fuller

If you're going through hell, keep going.
     -Sir Winston Churchill

Forget the times of your distress, but never forget what they taught you.
     -- Herbert Gasser

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
     -- Eleanor Roosevelt

THIS WEEK'S CUTIES:
So you think you had a bad day!!! Thanks to Tom Livingston
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.  At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, they were both eaten by a killer whale.

A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an ax leaving her mentally retarded.

In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours short of the 400-day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places.  Until that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

SOME MORE MESS UPS: Thanks to Bud Casselberry
These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award.  This is given out in honor of the GM's fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America.  "No va" means, of course,  in Spanish, "it doesn't go".

The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign  "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico.  It
was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation  read "Are you lactating?"

Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea."

Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure.  Not  too many people had use for the "Manure Stick."

When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used  the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label.  Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what's inside, since many people
can't read.

Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit.  Instead of  "I  saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato"  (la papa).

Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated  into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in
Chinese.

When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "It won't leak in your pocket
and embarrass you."  The company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant!"

When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated  its "Fly In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked" (vuela en cuero)  in Spanish!

SURELY SOME JOBS WERE PHASED OUT OVER THOSE!!

I COULD BE SENTENCED TO LASHES WITH WET SPAGHETTI FOR THIS NEXT ONE-BUT I CAN'T HELP MYSELF: Thanks to Gerri Eisenhauer who forwarded this from her warped minded daughter, Heather Treaster.
Subject: frog
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.  He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack.  So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan.  She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure.  I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall.  Bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.  She finds the manager and says:  "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000.
And he wants to use this as collateral.  " She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"...

Are you ready???
You're gonna hate me
You're gonna groan
This is the warped part!!!

The bank manager looks back at her and says:
"It's a knick knack,
Patti Whack.
Give the frog a loan.
His old man's a Rolling Stone"

That's enough for this week, donscha think?

I hope you enjoyed this communication and can attend one or more of the sessions scheduled for this week.