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Senior Net Learners Newsletter 2/20/00

Goodness it's time for another newsletter. I was surprised with the number of emails that arrived the last couple of days demonstrating the techniques we worked on in the Wednesday and Thursday sessions. I'm really looking forward to the sessions this week. I've used a number of new graphics for you to borrow/use. Do the right mouse button thing and choose copy. Then paste them somewhere on your hard drive or on a floppy.

THIS WEEK'S SCHEDULE:
Tuesday 2/22/00 @9:00 AM
Tuesday Newbies (fourth session of six sessions)
This class is full. Registration is available for the next Tuesday Newbie class scheduled to begin March 14, 2000. The next Wednesday opening is April 5. There will be a $2.00 per session charge for this class. The class size is limited to ten participants. Interested participants should preregister. This is a very basic course in computer techniques
for the internet. Skills taught in the beginner classes include mouse techniques, drag and drop, copy/cut and paste
and very beginner basics for email and browsing the Web. Mike Foust will provide the leadership for this class.
It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers.

Wednesday 2/23/00 @9:00 AM
Wednesday group of Senior Net Learners: We will be exploring Zip and Unzip for files. This session was postponed last week. Of course we will have time for problem solving and a question/answer session. We will get into html email also. So, come with questions and something to share. Please suggest topics for future sessions. New participants are welcome anytime. It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers. Mike Foust will provide the leadership for this session.
Are you gathering info for your web pages? Basic computer knowledge and basic computer skills are necessary.

Wednesday 2/23/00 @ 1:00 PM
Wednesday Newbies (first session of six sessions)
Preregistration has this class full. Interested participants should preregister for the next Tuesday or the next Wednesday group. The next Tuesday Newbies course will start March, 14 . The next Wednesday Newbies is scheduled for April 5. There will be a $2.00 per session charge for this class. The class size is limited to ten participants. Interested participants should preregister for the next class. This is a very basic course in computer techniques for the internet. Skills taught in the beginner classes include mouse techniques, drag and drop, copy/cut and paste and very beginner basics for email and browsing the Web. Bianca Barbaro will provide the leadership for this class.
It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers.

Thursday 2/24/00 @ 9:00 AM
Thursday group of Senior Net Learners: We will be exploring Zip and Unzip for files. This session was postponed last week. Of course we will have time for problem solving and a question/answer session. We will get into html home page composition using the Communicator Composer Program. So, come with questions and something to share. Please suggest topics for future sessions. New participants are welcome anytime. It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers. Mike Foust will provide the leadership for this session.
Are you gathering info for your web pages? Basic computer knowledge and basic computer skills are necessary.

To Ponder:Thanks to John Laubscher and Betty Lachat
KEEP YOUR FORK:
There was a woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.
She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. The woman also requested to be buried with her favorite Bible.
Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.
There's one more thing," she said excitedly. "What's that?" the pastor replied. "This is very important," the woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."
The pastor stood looking at the woman, not knowing quite what to say.
"That surprises you, doesn't it?" the woman asked.
"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor.
The woman explained. "In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew That something better was coming like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance! So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to
wonder, 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork the best is yet to come.'
The pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. However, he also knew that the woman had a better grasp of Heaven than he did. She KNEW that something better was coming.
At the funeral people were walking by the woman's casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing and her favorite Bible and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the pastor heard the question "What's with the fork?" And over and over, he smiled.
During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.
He was right. Therefore, the next time you reach down for your fork let It remind you oh so gently, that the best is yet to come.

INTERESTING SITES:
CULINARY.COM
For some people, the nightly proposition of "What's for dinner?" is a daily dilemma. There are only so many things you can do with Ramen noodles, right? What if that person instantly got access to nearly 75,000 recipes, all for free? Of course, the lure of the Golden Arches will always be there, but a quick stop into Culinary.com will certainly fill your head with creative ways to fill your stomach in no time. The site also features articles, news bits, message forums, and more than 50 meal categories to choose from. Bon appetit!
http://www.culinary.com

CLASSIC CAR SOURCE
They don't make 'em like they used to. Anyone sick to death of the flotilla of SUVs that parades around the nation's highways ad infinitum will surely look back favorably on a time when cars had character. If someone takes that reminiscing one step further and purchases a classic car (25 years or older), this site will prove an invaluable resource for information, community,
and fun. Discover classic car clubs located near you, find the hub cap for a 57 Chevy in the site's classifieds, chat with fellow enthusiasts, or pick up some classic car books to read. But not while you're driving, of course.
http://www.classicar.com

A Fun One
Now here's a cutie one from Skip Frye. The URL appropriately describes the content. It is danggonegood if you get my drift.
http://www.danggoodjokes.com

PUZZABILITY
Oh, these dark days of winter, when the snow won't let up, the sun won't stay out, and about the only way to get the mercury
rising is to light a match under it. What's a spring-seeking glum chum to do? If you have a Java-enabled computer, you can at least wile away the dark hours of winter having fun--it seems to make them go by faster. Why not tease your brain while you're at it? Some former editors of the venerable Games magazine have formed a company called Puzzability, and they're offering some free brain-teasers on this engrossing site. Crosswords, word searches, you name it--you'll find plenty of clever (and tough) games to play gratis. Puzzability is an 11-letter word for fun.
http://www.puzzability.com

QUOTES:
"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."
-- Theodore Roosevelt

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
-- H. L. Mencken

"Real intelligence is a creative use of knowledge, not merely an accumulation of facts."
-- Kenneth Winebrenner

BET YA DIDN'T KNOW THIS:
Why is an older person "no spring chicken?"
Chickens have been table fare since just about the beginning of tables, so it's no surprise that we have several expressions featuring this fowl. In various contexts, chickens have been in every pot, come home to roost, and been counted before they hatched. But what does a "spring chicken" have to do with aging? Just this: Tender spring chickens, highly prized for summer barbecuing, are birds born in the winter and nurtured to young adulthood just in time for the warmer weather. When some
shady merchant tried to pass off a tough old bird as one of these premium pullets, it's up to the buyer to know that it's no spring chicken. As with many animal expressions, the wording and sense has been transferred to humans.
Of course this has nothing to do with any of us...Yet.

(Source: WHY YOU SAY IT by Webb Garrison

SOME CUTE ONES:
From Ken Condo
Attn: IRS
Enclosed is my 1998 tax return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029). This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. Might I suggest you the send the above mentioned fund a 1.5 inch screw." (See attached article...HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch phillips head screw.)
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,
A satisfied taxpayer

From my sister Pat Hughes
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her - "Hello!" "How are you! We've been waiting for you!" "Good to see you!"
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About six months later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am. How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia."

DESIGNATED DRIVER?
From Earl Keen
A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time, as everyone came out, he
spotted his potential quarry.
The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes,
looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle.
He sat in the car a good ten minutes, as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on, then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.
The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalyzer test, and to his great surprise, the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!
"This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman.
"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"

I hope you enjoyed this communication and can attend one or more of the sessions scheduled for this week.
Mike