SENIOR NET NEWSLETTER 12/31/2000
auld lang syne - old long ago braes - hills twa hae - two have pou'd the gowans - pulled the daisies paid'ld in the burn - waded in the stream braid - broad guid willie-waught - goodwill drink your pint-stowp - pay for your pint Thanks to Douglas Clark's Robert Burns Page
Text: Scottish traditional collected "from an old man's singing" by Robert Burns, 1788 Music: AULD LANG SYNE - Scottish traditional Midi File [auld_lang_syne.mid
"Auld Lang Syne" Traditional Scottish
This song is usually attributed to Robert Burns, but was not composed by him, for he says expressly in a letter to Thomson, “It is the old song of the olden times, which has never been in print ... I took it down from an old man's singing.” In another letter he says, “Light be the turf on the heaven-inspired poet who composed this glorious fragment.” Nothing whatever is known of the author of the words; the composer is wholly unknown. This version is the one Burns transcribed.
What Millennium is it, Anyway?
Today's Topic For Homeowners is: How to install a tile floor by Dave Barry
THIS WEEK'S SCHEDULE:
Monday 01/08/01@6:00 Monday evening Intermediates (first session of six sessions) The cost is $12.00 for the six sessions. Some topics to be addressed include: Basics of maneuvering about the Windows Operating System, copy/paste,drag/drop, editing, saving to various drives, right mouse button options, creating folders and files, uninstalling, deleting, advanced email and browser techniques involving bookmarks, address books, forwarding messages, attachments, and HTML (Hyper Text Markup Language). Dave Winkelman provides the leadership for this class. Beginner computer knowledge and beginner computer skills are necessary. A ton of info is packed into the six sessions. This course is designed for those who "think they know" and especially for those who "want to know" more.
Tuesday 01/09/01 @9:00 AM Tuesday morning Newbies (first session of six sessions) This is a very basic course in computer techniques for the internet. There is a $12.00 per course charge for this class. Class size is limited so participants should pre register. Skills taught in the beginner classes include mouse techniques like drag and drop, plus very beginner basics for email and browsing the Web. Dave Winkelman provides the leadership for this class. It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it is very difficult to retain information without practice. You really would not try to learn to play the piano with out actual keyboard time.
Tuesday 01/16/01 @3:00 AM Tuesday afternoon Newbies (first session of six sessions) This is a very basic course in computer techniques for the internet. There is a $12.00 per course charge for this class. Class size is limited so participants should pre register. Skills taught in the beginner classes include mouse techniques like drag and drop, plus very beginner basics for email and browsing the Web. Dave Winkelman provides the leadership for this class. It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it is very difficult to retain information without practice. You really would not try to learn to play the piano with out actual keyboard time.
Wednesday 01/03/01 @9:00 AM Wednesday morning group of Senior Net Learners: This is an advanced group and we cover a lot of territory. We are kind of free flowing. You never know what will transpire. We will continue addressing Q&A from the group. New participants are always welcome. It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it sure helps with the learning curve. Usually, Mike Foust, and anyone else who wants to jump into the fray, provide the leadership for this session. Intermediate computer knowledge and Intermediate computer skills are necessary.
Thursday 01/18/01 @9:00 AM Thursday morning Intermediates (first session of six sessions) The cost is $12.00 for the six sessions. Some topics to be addressed include: Basics of maneuvering about the Windows Operating System, copy/paste,drag/drop, editing, saving to various drives, right mouse button options, creating folders and files, uninstalling, deleting, advanced email and browser techniques involving bookmarks, address books, forwarding messages, attachments, and HTML (Hyper Text Markup Language). Mike Foust provides the leadership for this class. Beginner computer knowledge and beginner computer skills are necessary. A ton of info is packed into the six sessions. This course is designed for those who "think they know" and especially for those who "want to know" more.
Thursday 01/04/01 @1:00 PM Thursday Afternoon Newbies (first session of six sessions) This class is a very basic course in computer techniques for the internet. There is a $12.00 per course charge for this class. Skills taught in the beginner classes include mouse techniques like drag and drop, plus very beginner basics for email and browsing the Web. Dave Winkleman provides the leadership for this class. It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it is very difficult to retain information without practice. You really would not try to learn to play the piano with out actual keyboard time.
CLICK HERE FOR ORIENTATION, MAC, & GENEOLOGY CLASS INFORMATION: CLICK HERE FOR SCANNING AND BEGINNERS WEB PAGE CLASSES:
TECHNICALLY SPEAKING: MORE PRINTER INFORMATION We talked about printer problems and the ability to print selected areas in a couple of the Senior Advanced classes. Some were ok and some had trouble isolating and printing. It seems that at least one person commented about Adobe and printing technique. problems. Here is a bit I stumbled on when trying to upgrade to Netscape 4.76. Maybe it is appropriate for some. http://home.netscape.com/eng/mozilla/4.7/relnotes/windows-4.76.html Printing problems may occur with the use of the Adobe Postcript printer driver (ADOBES4.drv, version 4.10.126) in Windows 95 and Windows 98. If you have this printer driver in your c:\windows\system folder, you can obtain an upgrade from http://www.adobe.com/support/downloads/pdrvwin.htm
SUMMARY FILES--AN EXPLANATION by Paul Dmytrewycz with some Mike Foust editing. A reader writes: "When I empty the trash, Netscape builds summary files with several different titles. What are these summary files and why do I need them to take up disk space I was trying to free up?" Rest assured, you are indeed freeing up disk space. Netscape, as well as most other email programs, use summary files to index their corresponding folder. Summary files keep track of their respective message files. For each mail folder (represented on your hard drive with its own file), there is a corresponding .snm file in Netscape or .msf in the Microsoft mails. For example, your Inbox is represented on disk by a file called Inbox, and another file called inbox.snm. It's best not to delete them manually; they take up very little space.
WORD: USING THE CENTS SIGN A reader points out that there's no cents sign on the keyboard, and wants to know if there's a way to make the cents sign in Word. Yes, there is. All you have to do is press Ctrl-/ (slash) and then press C. The most likely reason for the lack of a cents symbol on standard keyboards is that stating amounts in cents has never been acceptable in formal financial dealings. To express ten cents, one would write $0.10. In any case, it's getting harder and harder to find something that costs less than a buck these days. This will not work with Netscape.
ONE BILL OR TWO How big is the Web? Way big, real big, big big, or to put numbers on it, at least a billion pages, and possibly reaching two billion pages sometime in 2001. Oh where, oh where is HAL? There never will be a clear answer on the Web's size now that many pages are buried in Intranets behind firewalls. But with the leading search engines now claiming to have indexed more than a billion pages, the public Web is a giga-plex at least.
NO MORE PASSWORDS WITH FINGERPRINT-READING MOUSE By Robin Garr If you're as absent-minded as I am and can never remember all the passwords that you have hidden away in Windows' memory, here's a possible solution that seems right out of science fiction but that will be turning up soon at a computer shop near you: The patented U-match Biometric Mouse, from Florida-based Biolink Technologies, offers fingerprint-scanning methodology integrated into a standard two-button mouse. Poke your thumb into the appropriate receptacle, and the mouse "reads" your fingerprint, converting it into a digital signature that the software can then use as the password to unlock your computer or sign you on to registration-protected Web sites and service providers from The New York Times to America Online. For the security-conscious, Biolink notes that U-match does not store an image of your fingerprint, where malefactors might steal it, but captures its reading anew each time you sign on, "scrambling the algorithm" to deter further any attempts at stealing the code. For technical information, check Biolink, http://www.biolinkusa.com/ Or you can order your own U-Match Mouse now -- at a reasonably affordable $119.13 --from http://www.cdw.com/shop/products/default.asp?EDC=251160 or 1-888-239-7480 toll-free.
STOP! THIEF! By Robin Garr If you're familiar with the "Lojack" system in which a tiny hidden transmitter on your automobile helps police trace it if it's stolen, then you'll have no difficulty comprehending the premise behind Computrace, a new system that purports to help law enforcement authorities find your stolen portable computer by detecting its presence on the Internet. This proprietary system works by placing a small program on the portable computer's hard drive, where the developers assert that it's invisible, can't be removed, and will even survive reformatting. If the machine is stolen, the first time the thief makes a modem connection, the Computrace program wakes up and quietly dials up the authorities to report the theft and reveal the computer's location. (To do this, it uses automatic number identification, a high-powered commercial form of Caller ID that can't be blocked and that reveals unlisted numbers.) Computrace will work on any portable computer with a 486 processor or above (sorry, Mac users) equipped with a Hayes-compatible modem and MS-DOS or Windows operating systems. The service is $45 a year, but users must sign up for a three-year minimum; discounts are available for site licensing for companies insuring large numbers of computers. For more information, see Computrace computer tracking and theft recovery solution: http://www.computrace.com/ or, to skip the Flash intro, http://www.computrace.com/index_home.asp
KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS FOR OUTLOOK EXPRESS To get to the Inbox, press Ctrl + I. To open a selected message, press Ctrl + O. To create a new message, press Ctrl + N. To print the selected message, press Ctrl + P. To delete a selected message, you can press Ctrl + D, or Delete. To reply to a selected message, press Ctrl + R. To forward a selected message, press Ctrl + F. To open the Go To Folder dialog box, press Ctrl + Y. To change your layout to display the folder list, press Ctrl + L. To check your mail, press Ctrl + M."
INBOX ON THE PERSONAL TOOLBAR Putting a button for the Messenger Inbox on the Personal Toolbar. 1. Open Messenger. 2. Pull the Messenger window down so you can see both the Personal Toolbar and Messenger on your screen. 3. There is an icon to the left of the word Inbox in Messenger. Drag this icon to the Personal Toolbar. Afterward, you can use the Edit Bookmarks window to rename the button. Click Bookmarks, Edit Bookmarks. Under Personal Toolbar, right-click Inbox and select Bookmark Properties. Give it whatever name you prefer and click OK.
DISGUISE YOUR PHONE VOICE Another of those gee-whiz electronic toys that used to exist only in the fevered brains of mystery and science-fiction writers is now as close as your nearest e-tailer: The electronic voice disguiser! One brand, Voice Changer II, a shirt-pocket-size black device that plugs into your telephone, doesn't merely disguise your voice but does it with high-tech flair, offering you a choice of eight voices and pitches. "A man can sound like a stranger, a women like a man, or a granddad like a child," according to one online vendor. It sells for $50 suggested retail. Another type, the Unitone Televoicer Handheld Voice Changer, clamps over the telephone mouthpiece. You talk through it and it alters your voice to any of several male, female, and "robotic" voices. This one goes for $40 suggested retail. I can think of some fairly unsavory reasons why some people would want one of these toys; but in fairness, it might make sense in situations where people have legitimate security concerns, like a woman living alone or children left without an adult after school, who might feel more comfortable having a gruff male voice or eerie robot answer the telephone. Both models run on standard batteries and are widely discounted. Here are two retail sources: Voice Changer II: http://www.firstlineindustries.com/telvoicchani.html Unitone Televoicer: http://test.twinner.com.tw/unitone/telemanager.htm#Televoicer
FIRST FLIGHT CENTENNIAL In these jaded times, when even space shuttle missions barely illicit a yawn, it's hard to imagine those heady days in the early twentieth century when manned, powered flight seemed like a distant dream. You may not be able to go to Kitty Hawk to pay homage to the Wright brothers, but you can certainly support their memory online. The First Flight Centennial Foundation seeks to preserve the memory of the Wrights and their great accomplishment on the dunes of Kitty Hawk. You'll find information about the Wright Memorial, the museum, and the Outer Banks. A great site for armchair flight historians. http://www.firstflightcentennial.org
NEW YEAR'S EVE AT TIMES SQUARE-There is a lot of miscelannous info here. The most celebrated New Year’s Eve party in the world will be in Times Square, New York City, on December 31, 2000! Times Square 2001 will be a spectacular event, full of sights, sound, pageantry and special effects, showcasing the New Year’s Eve Ball, designed by Waterford Crystal and lighted by Con Edison, that descends from the roof of One Times Square at midnight. Join us in ringing in the New Year at the Crossroads of the World! http://www.timessquarebid.org/new_year/#Times
MUMMERS PARADE-Next to the Greatest Show on Earth the Mummers Parade was my Dad's favorite. I think they are neat too. The origins of the Mummers Parade can date all the way back to the 1700s and even before. This tradition relates back the Swedish who settled outside of Philadelphia, along the roads of Tinicum and Kingsessing. They brought their tradition of "Second Day Christmas" where they would visit their friends. Eventually this tradition extended to the New Year. Marking the occasion were the loud noises that filled the air. Using their pistols and muskets, bells and other noise makers the Philadelphia locals paraded down the streets. The firing of the guns to welcome in the New Year became associated with the Now Year's Shooters. This is how the tradition evolved. These mummers went house to house, dressed up or with blackened faces, shouting and shooting while chanting. In return they received spirits and cakes. The name "mummers" comes from the impersonations of the English mummers' play of St. George and the Dragon. The many speeches and chants still survive today and if you see the parade for yourself this New Year you will hear them. They are on TV. http://www.mummers.com/
FIELDING'S DANGERFINDER -A must see for the International Traveler. A couple of months ago, a group of rock climbers was kidnapped when the climbers stumbled upon a Muslim insurgency in the former Soviet Union. No one had told them it was dangerous. Don't let a lack of information ruin your vacation. The Fielding Dangerfinder will help you assess the risk wherever you go. Laid out by country, the Dangerfinder gives in-depth information on the history, combatants, how to get around, what to do if you get sick, and much more. Whether you're trying to stay away from danger or running for adventure as fast as you can, this handy guide will give you the scoop you need to be prepared. http://www.fieldingtravel.com/df/dplaces.htm
CURRENCY CONVERTER[You will need this when you do that international traveling. Perhaps you were considering a career in foreign currency speculation or were wondering how many Italian Lira it takes to buy a stick of bubble gum. Most likely, you're about to go on a much-needed vacation and want to know how far your dollars (or pounds or yen) will get you. This easy-to-use currency converter lets you find the value of your own money, or anybody else's, as measured against the world's other currencies. You can even personalize the site by language, date format, and bank. You won't know the price of anything, but you'll know the value of everything. http://www.oanda.com/converter/classic
DIDJA KNOW?: PHILOSOPHERS' STONE The philosophers' stone was the substance that medieval alchemists claimed would turn base metals into gold. The search for this stone yielded few results (if you don't count the groundwork for the science of chemistry). They probably used the stone when building the Fountain of Youth.
Why is that liquid refreshment served in big bowls at parties called punch? If one can legitimately describe what you are drinking as "spiked," you might easily conjecture why the drink is called "punch," especially if you wake up prone next to the punch bowl. You might never know what hit you. But the word's origin is not so direct. It was a product of the British colonization of India. In the northern part of that land the Brits came upon a refreshing native drink made from rice alcohol blended with tea, sugar and lemon, all diluted with water. The colonizers, noting that the drink had five ingredients, used the Hindi word for five, "punch," to describe it. Now of course you also have five fingers, and if you curl them into a fist . . . . Just a thought. Source: WHY YOU SAY IT by Webb Garrison
Brewski for the ages The next time you feel like bragging about your local micro-brewery, consider this: 5000 years ago the Sumerians in the ancient Near East were already brewing eight different kinds of beer. Not only that, they devoted 40 percent of their grain harvest to their brewing operations. Like the Roman Empire, the Sumerians are long gone. Rome decline and fell, but I suspect that Sumer just got kind of tipsy and toppled over one day. Source: HOW IN THE WORLD
TO THE MOON When the first astronauts--Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong, and Michael Collins--went to the moon, why is it that only Neil Armstrong seems to have gained all the notoriety? Well, Buzz Aldrin did accompany Armstrong onto the moon, but Armstrong left the lander first. Collins, on the other hand, didn't get to the moon. He was left in the capsule circling the moon while the other two landed.
Why do many people think of fish as "brain food?" How smart is any creature be that keeps its mouth open underwater? A, creature, as well, that often ends up in a cooking pot, stewed to the gills, so to speak. The expression brain food, of course, refers not to a fish's gray matter but rather what eating it might do for your intelligence. After all, if the fish were that bright you would be on his plate, not the reverse. "Brain food" comes from a 19th century notion promoted by a couple of chemists, who thought that human intelligence was largely promted by the consumption of phosphorous, a substance plentiful in fish. They were wrong, but the mythology has hung around in the "brain food" label. Maybe those chemists should have eaten more fish. (Source: EVER WONDER WHY? By Douglas B. Smith
Eat, drink and be merry I should have used this one last week. Here it comes again: Christmas. Now this time, when we go caroling, can we please get it right? It's not, "God rest you, merry gentlemen." That makes it sound like the gentlemen have been hitting the eggnog since Thanksgiving and are already lit up and merry without waiting for the tree to be trimmed. The correct emphasis is, "God rest you merry, gentlemen." Note the punctuation. You are wishing the merriment on them. They haven't got it yet. ("Rest you merry" is a phrase that came into common usage in the fifteenth century.) I know it seems like a mere grammatical technicality, but misplacing the punctuation mark leaves the gentlemen already, uh, comma-tose with Christmas cheer. Source: DICTIONARY OF MISINFORMATION
WHAT AUTOMOBILE MADE THE FIRST U.S. CROSS-COUNTRY JOURNEY IN 1903? A chauffeur-driven 1903 Winton touring car. It left San Francisco on May 23, 1903 and arrived in New York City on July 26th.
WHOM DID CATHERINE II OF RUSSIA KEEP IN AN IRON CAGE IN HER BEDROOM FOR MORE THAN THREE YEARS? She held captive her wig maker. She didn't want anyone to know her hair was not her own.
HOW MANY FINGER LAKES ARE THERE IN CENTRAL NEW YORK? Eleven. According to Indian legend, they are the water-filled fingerprints of the Great Spirit.
WHAT COUNTRY, AFTER THE UNITED STATES, HAS THE WORLD'S GREATEST NUMBER OF TORNADOES? Australia. It has a few hundred a year--a distant second to the U.S., which has about 1,000 a year.
QUOTES: "How far would Moses have gone if he had taken a poll in Egypt?" --Harry Truman
"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year." --Ralph Waldo Emerson
"If you want to be listened to, you should put in time listening." --Marge Piercy
"In not making the decision, you've made one. Not doing something is the same as doing it." --Ivan Bloch
"When nobody around you measures up, it's time to check your yardstick." --Bill Lemly
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." --Erica Jong
"The important thing is not that we can live on hope alone, but that life is not worth living without it." --Harvey Milk
"Every man has his own destiny; the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him." --Henry Miller
"A danger foreseen is half avoided." --Thomas Fuller
THIS WEEK'S CUTIES: WHEN IS A DOG NOT A DAWG? Yankee Dogs translation to Southern Dawgs Thanks to Bud Casselberry. (Yankee) German Shepherd Dog (Southern) Poh-leece Dawg.
(Yankee) Poodle (Southern) Circus Dawg.
(Yankee) Doberman Pinscher (Southern) Dobimin Pinches.
(Yankee) Beagle (Southern) Rabbit Dawg.
(Yankee) Rottweiler (Southern) Mean As A Rattlesnake Dawg. Good dawg to guard the still.
(Yankee) Yellow Lab (Southern) Ol' Yeller Dawgs.
(Yankee) Black Lab (Southern) Duck fetchin' Dawg.
(Yankee) Greyhound (Southern) Greased Lightnin' Dawg.
(Yankee) Malinois (Southern) Another kind of Poh-leece Dawg.
(Yankee) Blue Ticks, Red Bones, etc. (Southern) Prize Coon Dawgs.
(Yankee) Pekinese (Southern) Mop Dawg.
(Yankee) Chinese Crested (Southern) Nekkid Dawg.
(Yankee) Dachshund (Southern) Wienie Dawg.
(Yankee) Siberian Husky (Southern) Sled-Pullin' Dawg.
(Yankee) Bouvier, Komondor (Southern) "What In the World Kinda Dawg Is That?"
(Yankee) Great Dane, Mastiff (Southern) Danged BIG Dawg.
(Yankee) Any dog that raids the hen house (Southern) Egg-Suckin' Dawg.
(Yankee) Any lazy dog (Southern) Good fer nothin' Dawg.
(Yankee) Any dog that's died and been buried and gone to Rainbow Bridge (Southern) Best danged Dawg I ever had.
JUST GETTING STARTED IS ROUGH Two confirmed bachelors were sitting and talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and...'"
ASHES TO ASHES.... A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks. As he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says, "What's this?" She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there." He turns beat red in horror and goes, "Geez, oh..I..." She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."
NOT AN ELECTION Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from New York, another from Texas, and the third from Florida. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors, the guard said, "Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?" So, to the back fence they all went to check it out. First to step up was the Florida contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, "Well I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me." Next was the Texas contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me." Without so much as moving, the New York contractor said, "$2,700." The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" "Easy," he said. "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you and we hire the guy from Texas."
IF GOD ISN'T A PENN STATE FAN From Cindy Simcox. A highly recruited high school football player was visiting schools to try and find the best college for him. His first stop was at Florida State. When he got there, Bobby Bowden immediately picked up a golden telephone. After talking several minutes, he said, "Thank you, God" and hung up. This shocked the young man. He asked the coach what was so special about the golden phone. "Well, this phone is a direct line to God. And God tells us whether or not new recruits would be stars at our university." The athlete asked if he could use the phone to ask God what college he should pick. "Sure, you can! But it's going to cost you $1,250. Calling Heaven ain't cheap." The fellow didn't have that kind of money, so he moved along. Who would want to live in Florida anyway? His next stop was Michigan. Upon entering Lloyd Carr's office Coach Carr immediately picked up a golden telephone. After talking several minutes, he said, "Thank you, God" and hung up. The boy said, "Hey, I've seen those phones before. Can I use yours to call God and ask what college I should pick?" Lloyd said, "Sure, but it's going to cost you $150. Calling Heaven isn't cheap." Again, not having that kind of money, the lad left. His last stop was in State College, PA. Upon arrival at the office, Coach Paterno picked up a golden telephone, talked to God, and said, "Thanks," and hung up. The boy just had to use that phone, so he said, "Coach, I really need to use that golden telephone so I can call God and ask him which college I should choose. From Florida State it was going to cost me $1,250. From Michigan they wanted $150. So how much will it cost me to call Heaven from here at Penn State?" Coach Paterno smiled and said, "Nothing, son. It's a local call."
Quick Wit: After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
Ponder this: If a man is walking in the forest, and there is no woman present to hear him speak, is he still wrong?
What has 12 teeth and 150 eyes? The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.
OK! That's a Wrap. See ya next week I hope you enjoyed this communication and can attend one or more of the sessions scheduled for this week.