SENIOR NET NEWSLETTER 11/26/2000

I've received this story from a couple of sources. I saved sharing it for a special time. Thanks to all who forwarded it.  Sue and I did not physically share the Thanksgiving Holiday with any family this year. It certainly was not typical for us.  I found myself on a bit of a downer about that.  During our quiet time I browsed across this piece again and realized that THANKS and BLESSINGS and GOOD LIFE have no special time. They can be any time and all the time, if we just take the time and accept unexpected results.   Although the story appears long,  I encourage you to read it anyway.  I did and I feel so much better.  By the way, phone conservations and emails also worked wonders for the warm feeling one usually experiences during the Thanksgiving Holiday.  Those physical get-togethers will come later.
 
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?
He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minn.  All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was one in a million.  Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness delightful.  Mark talked incessantly.  I had to remind him again and again that talking without permission was not acceptable.  What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every time I had to correct him for misbehaving -"Thank you for correcting me, Sister!" I didn't know what to make of it at first, but before long I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day.  One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often, and then I made a novice teacher's mistake.  I looked at Mark and said, "If you say one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!" It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out,"Mark is talking again." I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it.  I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning.  I walked to my desk, very deliberately opened my drawer and took out a roll of masking tape.  Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore off two pieces of tape and made a big X with them over his mouth.  I then returned to the front of the room.  As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing, he winked at me.  That did it!  I started laughing.  The class cheered as I walked back to Mark's desk, removed the tape, and shrugged my shoulders.  His first words were, "Thank you for correcting me, Sister." 
At the end of the year, I was asked to teach junior-high math.  The years flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again.  He was more handsome than ever and just as polite.  Since he had to listen carefully to my instruction in the "new math," he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had in third.  One Friday, things just didn't feel right.  We had worked hard on a new concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with themselves and edgy with one another.  I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of hand.  So I asked them to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.  Then I told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.  It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed me the papers.  Charlie smiled.  Mark said, "Thank you for teaching me, Sister.  Have a good weekend." That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual.  On Monday I gave each student his or her list.  Before long, the entire class was smiling.  "Really?" I heard whispered.  "I never knew that meant anything to anyone!" "I didn't know others liked me so much." No one ever mentioned those papers in class again.  I never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter.  The exercise had accomplished its purpose.  The students were happy with themselves and one another again. 
That group of students moved on.  Several years later, after I returned from vacation, my parents met me at the airport.  As we were driving home, Mother asked me the usual questions about the trip the weather, my experiences in general.  There was a lull in the conversation.  Mother gave Dad a sideways glance that simply says, "Dad?" My father cleared his throat as he usually did before something important.  "The Eklunds called last night," he began.  "Really?" I said.  "I haven't heard from them in years.  I wonder how Mark is." Dad responded quietly.  "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said.  "The funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend." To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me about Mark. 
I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before.  Mark looked so handsome, so mature.  All I could think at that moment was, "Mark, I would give all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me." The church was packed with Mark's friends.  Chuck's sister sang "The Battle Hymn of the republic." Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral?  It was difficult enough at the graveside.  The pastor said the usual prayers, and the bugler played taps.  One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by the coffin and sprinkled it with holy water.  I was the last one to bless the coffin.  As I stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to me.  "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked.  I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin.  "Mark talked about you a lot," he said. 
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to Chuck's farmhouse for lunch.  Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting for me.  "We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket.  "They found this on Mark when he was killed.  We thought you might recognize it." Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times.  I knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.  "Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said.  "As you can see, Mark treasured it." Mark's classmates started to gather around us.  Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list.  It's in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.""I have mine too," Marilyn said.  "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group.  I carry this with me at all times, " Vicki said without batting an eyelash.  "I think we all saved our lists." That's when I finally sat down and cried.  I cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again. 
The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day.  And we don't know when that one day will be.  So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important.  Tell them, before it is too late. 

THIS WEEK'S SCHEDULE:
Monday 11/27/00
Monday evening Intermediates (fourth session of six sessions)
The cost is $12.00 for the six sessions.  Some topics to be addressed include: Basics of maneuvering about the
Windows Operating System, copy/paste,drag/drop, editing, saving to various drives, right mouse button options,
creating folders and files, uninstalling, deleting, advanced email and browser techniques involving bookmarks,
address books, forwarding messages, attachments, and HTML (Hyper Text Markup Language).
Dave Winkelman  provides the leadership for this class.  Beginner computer knowledge and beginner computer
skills are necessary. A ton of info is packed into the six sessions.
This course is designed for those who "think they know"  and especially for those who "want to know" more.

Tuesday 11/28/00 @9:00 AM
Tuesday morning Newbies (third of six sessions)
This is a very basic course in computer techniques for the internet.  There is a $12.00 per course charge for this
class.  Class size is limited so participants should pre register.  Skills taught in the beginner classes include mouse
techniques like drag and drop, plus very beginner basics for email and browsing the Web.
Dave Winkelman provides the leadership for this class.
It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it is very difficult to retain information without
practice.  You really would not try to learn to play the piano with out actual keyboard time.

Wednesday 11/29/00 @9:00 AM
Wednesday morning group of Senior Net Learners:    This is an advanced group and we cover a lot of territory. We
are kind of free flowing.  You never know what will transpire. We were going to cover removing programs from  startup but we will postpone this session until next week.  We will just wing it this week, you know, Pot-Pourri as John Lipez calls it on "Talk Back"  These days most often turn into some of the most imformative sessions.  We will continue addressing Q&A from the group.  New participants are always welcome. It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it sure helps
with the learning curve. Usually, Mike Foust, and anyone else who wants to jump into the fray, provide the leadership for this session.
Intermediate computer knowledge and Intermediate computer skills are necessary.

There will no classes on Thursday November 23.  We will be celebrating Thanksgiving.
Thursday 11/30/00 @ 9:00 AM
Thursday morning Intermediates (seventh session of six sessions we had to throw an extra session in to get through the lessons )
Mike Foust provides the leadership for this class.  Beginner computer knowledge and beginner computer skills
are necessary.  A ton of info is packed into the six sessions.
This course is designed for those who "think they know"  and especially for those who "want to know" more.
The next Thursday Intermediate group will begin in January 2001.  Keep watching for the exact start date.

Thursday  11/30/00 @1:00 PM
Thursday Afternoon  Newbies (sixth session of six sessions)
This class  is a very basic course in computer techniques for the internet. There is a $12.00 per course charge for
this class.  Skills taught in the beginner classes include mouse techniques like drag and drop, plus very beginner
basics for email and browsing the Web.
Dave Winkleman provides the leadership for this class.
It is not necessary for attendees to have their own computers but it is very difficult to retain information without
practice.  You really would not try to learn to play the piano with out actual keyboard time.

 The Intermediate Group Course Content:
We mess around with the desktop, rearrange icons, change backgrounds, create screen savers, learn to make
shortcuts on the desktop, learn a bunch of ways to access the hard drive and discuss how our computers resemble
a file cabinet in its organization.  We learn a little bit about extensions like .gif, .wav, .mid, .txt, .doc, .jpeg, .exe,
and dot de dot de dot...  just to name a few.  We discover what special programs are already installed on our
computers to help us see these special extensions.   We make folders and subfolders on the hard drive.  We copy
and paste files into these folders.  We learn the difference between cut/paste and copy/paste.  We learn how to
copy/borrow graphic and midi files from the internet and save them to the new folders we make.  Then we copy and
paste files from floppies to the hard drive, we move files from the hard drive to a floppy disk.  We take floppies
home with graphics and midis on them to put on the hard drives to use with email.  We investigate the difference
between uninstall and delete for programs and files and when it is appropriate to do either.  We learn how to do a
"Thorough" Scandisk, Defrag. and Cleandisk.   We become  proficient with Bookmarks and Forwarding
messages.  The final week we will get into HTML in email.  So look out because we will be terrorizing our friends
with neat souped up emails.  Yep!, we definitely learn enough to be verrrrry dangerous AND...WE HAVE
FUN!!!.

TAX WISE
We hear so much about Senior Moments.  Suppose we offer a new type of Senior.  We'll call it a  Senior Opportunity!
Catherine Holt and Virginia Crosby are leading a program to train 
Tax-Aide Volunteers.  These volunteers will assist in the Clinton County Senior Income Tax Assistance Filing Program.  The Tax-Aids help seniors prepare their tax forms. They have offered to accept KCnet's Advance students who want to learn the tax software. 
Catherine says, "This would be a no-strings-attached opportunity to try out a piece of software for e-filing.(Of course we won't be doing any real returns at the training session.) If they like using this software, Tax-Aide is still looking for volunteers. Actual Tax training is Dec 18th & 19th. We request that our volunteers pledge a minimum of four hours per week during tax season using this fun software to help Seniors file their taxes."
The software training is scheduled for Thursday, December 7 in the morning.
Please preregister by calling Catherine Holt (570) 748-4364 to confirm your attendance and establish the starting time.
Class size will be limited.

OTHER SESSIONS MEETING AT KCNET:
Web Page Creation
KCnet Education Coordinator/Technician will lead a class for Beginners in Web Page Creation.
This will be a two-session course, Wednesday November 22 and Wednesday November 29, 5-7 PM.
Dave will demonstrate how to create and edit a basic web page using a web page editor, the one in Netscape
Composer.
Students will sit at a computer and actually create a web page.
Seating is limited and advanced registration is required. There is a charge for the class.
Students are encouraged to bring ideas, photos, and/or business cards to scan or copy, as well as floppy disks totake their
work home.

MAC Users:
This is an ongoing (no start or finish date) group of  Apple Mac owners/users.  The group meets every 1st  Thursday each
month from 4:30-6:30.  Each session is $5.00.
Clair Falls is the group leader.

Click for Hi-Tech innovation.

TECHNICALLY SPEAKING:
Well, Just in case you caught the error in technicality last week, the one in the "Interesting Sites Section"; and if are still dying to see the real life photo of the Senior Session and Kerry Clausen-here it is.  I failed to move the photo's reference into the appropiate graphics file so you all got the dratted "Not Found Screen".  So Sorry!!

Most of the following tips are from Tipworld.
RUNNING SYSTEM FILE CHECKER Here is one we should have talked about in the Advanced Class.
If you suspect that something is wrong with your copy of Windows 98, one of your first steps should be to run the System File Checker.  This program examines your system files and notifies you if it finds something that may be corrupted.  The checker is available at Start, Programs, Accessories, System, System Information.  From there, choose Tools, System File Checker.  To run the program, select Scan For Altered Files and click OK.  If something is amiss, you're given the option of restoring the file from your Windows 98 disk, ignoring it, or updating its verification information.  Keep in mind that if you choose to update the verification information, you are in effect telling the System File Checker that the file is OK, and it won't be flagged again on any future system checks.

SEARCH ENGINE DOPE  Google Eyes Languages
Google has added the option of searching in Chinese, Japanese, and Korean.  You can search in those languages and save your preferred language for automatically viewing all Google pages.  You click to the Language, Display, & Filtering options to find these, as well as the dozen European languages already supported.  Google claims one of the largest collections of links to Asian Web pages, with 40 million Japanese, 24 million Chinese, and 10 million Korean pages in its database.
www.google.com

ANOTHER SEARCH ENGINE HINT Adam Had'em
ADAM is the Art, Design, Architecture & Media Information Gateway, a search site for art history.  You can use it to find Web sites, mailing lists, and real-world resources in the following areas: Fine Arts: including painting, sculpture, and other media Design: including industrial, fashion, graphics, and interiors Architecture: including urban planning and landscape design Applied Arts: including glass, metal, furniture, jewelry, and textiles Media: including television, movies, and photography adam.ac.uk/sindex.html

SEARCH ENGINE ALSO, KINDA MAYBE
Relocation Don't give up too easily.  If you've tried a Web address that someone gave you, one from a magazine or book, or one that you had bookmarked and it comes up dry -- with a 404 or other error-- don't assume the page is gone.  The page simply could have relocated to a new address (and not have left a forwarding marker).  Use a search engine or directory and type in the name of the page.  You can find out right away if it just has a new home on the Web.

IE 5 DOESN'T INCLUDE WINDOWS DESKTOP UPDATE  This one is for our Internet Explorer friends.
A number of readers have asked why, after installing IE 5.x, they don't see the IE 4.x features that they may have used or noticed on other machines--features such as the View, As Web Page option for an Explorer window, or the ability to activate an icon with a single or double click.  Good question.  These features (and more) make up the Windows Desktop Update, a component that is part of IE 4.x, but NOT IE 5.x.  A user will see these features only if he or she has upgraded to IE
5.x from IE 4.x (with the Windows Desktop Update option already installed).

CHECKING ON YOUR DISK MAINTENANCE
If you're not sure about the last time you performed some maintenance on your hard disk, you can get a quick look at the last time you backed up files, checked for errors, and defragmented.  Go to My Computer and  right-click on your C: drive icon, select Properties, and click the Tools tab.  You can see the status of these three operations, and you can then perform any one of them just by clicking the corresponding button.

NOT GETTING WHERE YOU WANT TO BE A bit of a beginner tip, maybe.
If you've tried to reach a page and it doesn't load, or you've reached it and want to return to a Web site's home page instead of staying at this specific page deep within the site, try moving your cursor to the location bar of your browser.  There you should delete all parts of the URL after the .com or .net or .edu or .org top-level domain.  You'll be left with just http://www.something.com, or a similar simple domain name.  Then hit the Return key.  Doing so often takes you to the site's home page
 


INTERESTING SITES:
WEATHER UNDERGROUND Another nice weather site.
It wasn't long ago that the mere mention of the Weather Underground would send anarchists into a bomb-making frenzy.  That was the '60s--now the Weather Underground is just a weather Web site.  There are clickable maps to help you locate the weather patterns nearest and dearest to your heart.  If that isn't enough, you can check city by city, region by region, or nation by nation.  You may want to know the historical temperatures for a specific city.  There are satellite maps, heat indexes, dew points, wind chills, and all that other cool meteorology.
If you're worried about the ozone, there's a UV index.  And if you don't like it, just wait a minute, it'll change.
www.wunderground.com/

SWELL.COM  Different!!, 'specialy if you like hangin' ten.
Dude!  It was pumping at Pipeline, and smoking at Steamer Lane.  It was "corduroy sets" out to the horizon.  Head-high, overhead, double overhead.  Man, it was beautiful.  Who says you need to be near an ocean to enjoy surfing?  Swell.com gives you the scoop without all that annoying neoprene.  Learn the anatomy of a surfboard or the pros and cons of artificial reefs.
Discover what it's like to be a real surfing pro.  Follow the surfline.com link to the latest forecasts, surf news, and live surf camera feeds from around the world.  So cutback your way through cyberspace.  Swell.com: The thrill of being there without the saltwater sinus drain.
www.swell.com/

BLUELIGHT  No crowd here.
If you've been Ebayed to death or Amazoned out, Bluelight's the place to go for the finer things in life.  More than just any old e-commerce site, this is K-Mart, home to deep discounts on everything from the Martha Stewart Everyday collection, to the much-coveted Pokemon merchandise.  Where else can you find a $399 computer next to Razor Scooters and baby clothes?  There are sections for men's, women's, and kid's apparel, consumer electronics, books, sporting goods, and whatever else your little coupon-clipping heart desires.  Shop by department, or search for that certain special something.  It's secure online shopping with an easy return policy, and remember, Bluelight prefers Mastercard.
www.bluelight.com/

Or you just might want to stroll down the virtual parking lot to Radio Shack!
I ordered two items on line last Monday.  They were shipped Tuesday via UPS and I got them Friday.  SHOCKED was I  I got 50 CD-R disks for $19.99 with a $10.00 mail-inrebate.  I also bought a USB Ezonics Cam for the puter, like the Quick Cams, for $29.99 minus a mail-in rebate of $20.00.  S&H for the order was $4.50 and tax was $3.27.  Radio Shack has lots of bargains on line, all the time, that are not in the stores.  They also feature a constantly changing Special Coupon area for on-line shoppers that allows you to print the coupon and then take it to the store for the reduced price on the many items not advertised as specials to the store shopper.  By the way they forgot to include the rebate slips in the shipment so I emailed from the site and they answered with a promise to mail them under seperate cover.
www.radioshack.com/category.asp?catalog%5Fname=FLYER&category%5Fname=&Page=1&bOnSale=True
The Radio Shack URL is:
www.radioshack.com
Now if that is not enough  you can "virtually" jump the drainage ditch from the Scots Lot to the Walmart Lot.
There are some unadvertised specials here too.
www.walmart.com/

UNBIASED SHOPPER HELP
Suppose you're concerned and frustrated about On-Line shopping. Two places to access are Gomez and BizRate  Both give you an unbiased Consumer Reports like review of the various on-line shopping sites.  They are not supported by the enterprises and are very candid in their ratings.  They have a shopper data base which will help you find the best price for your wanted item.
www.gomez.com
www.bizrate.com/

OTHER SUGGESTIONS  While we are in the shopping mood.
shopping.excite.com/
www.circuitcity.com/init.jsp
www.bestbuy.com/default.asp
www.sears.com
www.toysrus.com  (this will take you to Amazon.com, but that is alright)
www0.jcpenney.com/jcp/default.asp  (that www0. is not a mistake)
www.fisherprice.com/us/default.asp
www.officedepot.com/
www.staples.com/
www.officemax.com/max/solutions/nav/home.jsp
members.primary.net/~rocamiro/tonkas/   (this takes you to TONKA TRUCKS)
www.lowes.com/Lowes/Default.asp
www.homedepot.com/home.html
www.llbean.com/
www.cabelas.com/
www.diamonds.com/
www.fabulousfurs.com/develop/ffhomet.htm
www.woolrich.com/servlet/com.woolrich.homepage.Home
www.victoriassecret.com/index2.html   (where I've shopped for daughter and daughter in law - made son and son in law happy)
Then there is Lincoln, Mercury, Porsche, Mercedes, Fredricks of Hollywood, etc.


DIDJA  KNOW?:
HASBRO RELEASES THE DOT-COM EDITION OF MONOPOLY
Here's a good holiday gift idea for the Internet-obsessed: The .com edition of Monopoly.  That's right folks -- Hasbro has officially released its new version of Monopoly. With a lucky roll of the dice and a well-padded bank account, you could be the proud new owner of Yahoo!(TM), Monster(TM)or even iVillage(c).  Sound impossible?  Not if you're playing MONOPOLY, The .com Edition(R).  The real estate properties of the new Internet-themed board game feature a host of well-known Web-sites for purchase.  And not only have the properties and corresponding Title Deed cards been updated for the Internet Age, but the tokens/game cards are now tech-savvy and the bank has been revamped to deal in hundreds of millions of dollars.  "MONOPOLY, The .com Edition combines the fast-paced, high-yield world of cyber space with the fantasy of MONOPOLY," explains John Chandler, Senior Vice President of Marketing for Hasbro Games.  "The game offers MONOPOLY fans, young and old, all the fun of classic MONOPOLY with a decidedly modern twist." Traditional MONOPOLY properties have been replaced by 30 of today's most dynamic online companies and Web sites.  The gameboard now features Portals and Search Engines, which include Yahoo!(TM), Excite@home sm, Lycos(R), AltaVista(R) and Ask Jeeves sm; Business sites including CBS(R) MarketWatch.com(TM), Monster(TM) and E*Trade(R); Information sites including CNET(R), About.com(TM) and weather.com(TM); Shopping portals such as eBay(TM), Expedia(TM) and Priceline.com sm; Entertainment sites including E!Online(R), Games.com(TM) and shockwave.com(TM); Communication sites such as iVillage(c), Oxygen(TM)(c) and Yahoo!  Geocities(TM); Sports sites including Foxsports.com(TM) and Sportsline.com(TM); Connectivity Providers, AT&T(R), Sprint(R), MCI Worldcom(TM)(c)
and Nokia(R), which replace the MONOPOLY railroads; and new Utilities, Sun Microsystems(TM) and Linux(TM).
Players can select from one of eight pewter tokens depicting: a computer terminal, an "E-Mail Just In" icon, a surfboard (for websurfing), a computer monitor, a mouse, a web page, a computer chip, and a cursor.  An additional game piece has been incorporated, as has a new rule.  Rent control can be exacted in cyber space with the new Mr.  Monopoly Offline token.  After a double is rolled, the token is placed on a particular property.  When landed on that property, Internet service is "disconnected" and rent is not charged.  Further, the "E-Mail Just In" and "Download" spaces and cards replace the classic Chance and Community Chest, respectively.  Houses and hotels still exist however they now represent households and offices that are online.  The Luxury Tax has been changed to an Internet Service Provider (ISP) Fee, much like the one PC-users are saddled with in the real world.  Despite the various changes, the goal of MONOPOLY, The .com Edition remains the same--to bankrupt your opponents.  MONOPOLY, The .com Edition, designed for 2-8 players and appropriate for ages 8 to adult, will be available at all major toy and game retailers for an approximate retail price of $29.99.

Just what is plum pudding and why aren't there any plums in it?
Here's a dish with a peekaboo ingredient: who knows where it's hiding.  In fact if you were to dive into a plum pudding with sensitive electronic detection devices, you would find nary a plum in the place.
A treat for desert since the earliest Thanksgiving celebrations, plum pudding's ingredients include flour, sugar, spices and suet (fat).  This mush is steamed, not baked, and is unleavened, making it pudding rather than cake.
As for plums, the stealth ingredient that lends its name to this post-turkey goo, credit linguistic practices currant, uh, current in colonial America.  "Plums" and "plumbs" were what they called raisins, the final ingredient in plum pudding.
Source: DO PENGUINS HAVE KNEES?  By David Feldman

Why aren't the keys on your computer's keyboard arranged in alphabetical order?
Are you like me?  "QWERTY," the keyboard's first five letters, vividly describes my typing ability.  My fingers function less than felicitously.  I am a hunt-and-peck has-been, devoid of digital dexterity, clueless in coping with the keyboard's loopy logic.
Why do they make it hard on us?  Why do keyboards ignore alphabetical order?  Blame the typewriter.  The first machines in the 19th century did go from A to Z.  But this stymied good typists because the most frequently used keys were contiguous.  When typists struck, say, the "a" and "b" keys in rapid succession, the spokes carrying those letters often jammed.  The solution: separate these and other often-used keys.
Computers carried over the QWERTY keyboards that people were already used to.  These machines never jam; they just crash, destroying our work and driving us to drink.
(Source: EVER WONDER WHY?  By Douglas B.  Smith

Why do we call the terrible stomachache we get from spoiled food, "ptomaine" poisoning?
"Never buy salads containing mayonnaise in the summer: they might be spoiled and give you ptomaine poisoning," my mother warned when I was a child.
Ptomaine!  It sounded so deadly AND began with a silent letter!  Who needed an explanation?  But when I finally did look it up, I knew why it gave me a sinking feeling.
It originated with the Greek word, "piptein," to fall.  From that the Greeks derived their word for corpse, which is "ptoma," a fallen body.  (If you're sick you're feeling mighty low, and if you're dead you've hit rock bottom.) A
19th century Italian chemist coined "ptomaine" to describe putrefying – "spoiled" -- matter taken from a corpse.  You know what?  I think I'll pass on that dead shrimp salad.
(Source: THE SECRET LIVES OF WORDS by Paul West

FAST FACTS
Throwing the book at you How many times have you seen an image of the Statue of Liberty?  She holds up a torch in one hand and carries a book in the other.  Do you know what is printed on that book?  "July IV, MDCCLXXVI."
A significant date, you will no doubt agree.  Which reminds me of one of many theories explaining the fall of the Roman Empire: The barbarians overran it because the Empire's legions had so much trouble with dates written in Roman numerals that they showed up on the wrong day for major battles.
(Ok, ok!  It's July 4, 1776.)
(Source: JUST CURIOUS, JEEVES

On average, in a mild climate, a person can go about eleven days without water.  That may be true, but my next door neighbor would never make it through the week without a couple of cans of beer.
Americans bitten by poisonous snakes have a better than even chance of surviving even if they don't go to the doctor.  Are you feeling lucky today?

According to trivia expert Bill McLain, it would take 33,683 years to vacuum the entire state of Ohio (excluding Lake Erie), a total of 38,103 square miles.  That's based on the assumption that you can suck it up at the rate of a square foot per second - and hold off going to the bathroom for the next 33 millennia.  If you choose to take this mission, would you also please stop by my house afterward?  Even my living room would be a two-week piece of cake after that!
(Source: DO FISH DRINK WATER?

WAS PUBLIC KISSING EVER A CRIME IN THE UNITED STATES?
Yes, and it still is in some places.  In 1656 in Boston, a Captain Kimble was placed in the stocks for kissing his wife in public on the Sabbath.  To this day, it is illegal in Indiana, for a mustached man to "habitually kiss human beings." In Cedar Rapids, Iowa, it is still a crime to kiss a stranger.

HOW MANY PAROLEES COMMIT CRIMES WHILE ON PAROLE?
A 1979 New York study revealed that only 3.4 percent of state parolees were returned to prison for committing new crimes;
8.5 percent were returned for parole violations.  Thirty percent of ex-prisoners, however, were sent back to prison within five years of their release.

WHAT IS THE GREATEST NUMBER OF DEATHS BY  SHARKS IN ONE LOCATION?
On November 28, 1942, hundreds of British seamen and Italian prisoners of war were killed by sharks when a German U-boat sank the steamer Nova Scotia off the coast of South Africa.  Nine hundred men were on the ship when it sank; 192 were left when a rescue ship arrived.

HOW DO YOU TELL THE AGE OF A FISH?
The scales provide the best clue.  Scaleless when born, fish grow scales under their outer layer of skin to provide waterproofing.  As they age, most species add growth rings - that is, increase the size of their scales to cover their larger bodies.  With a very old fish, however, there are fewer additions, making it difficult to pin-point its age.  This method also does not work for fish without scales, such as catfish.


QUOTES:
Americans are broad-minded people. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there's something wrong with him.
     --Art Buchwald

Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to the country and to mankind is to bring up a family.
     --George Bernard Shaw

"Good prose is the selection of the best words; poetry is the best words in the best order; and journalese is any old words
in any old order."
     --Anon.

"Journalists write because they have nothing to say, and have something to say because they write."
     --Karl Kraus

"Journalists say a thing that they know isn't true, in the hope that if they keep on saying it long enough it will be true."
     --Arnold Bennett

"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect."
     --Margaret Mitchell

"There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it.  Only the wisest of  mankind achieve the second"
     --Logan Pearsall Smith

"Faith is the only known cure for fear."
     --Lena K. Sadler

"The proverb warns that, 'You should not bite the hand that feeds you.'  But maybe you should, if it prevents you from
feeding yourself."
     --Thomas Szasz

"The greatest thing in the world is to know how to be self-sufficient."
     --Michel de Montaigne
 


THIS WEEK'S CUTIES:
One last Turkey  Thanks Bud.
Just before Thanksgiving, the holding pen was abuzz as Mother Turkey scolded her younger birds.   "You turkeys are always into mischief," she gobbled. "If your grandfather could see the things you do, he'd turn over in his gravy."

Also from Bud
A farmer is giving his wife last-minute instructions before heading to town to do chores.  "That fellow from the city will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the cows.  I've hung a nail by the right stall so you'll know which one I want him to impregnate." Satisfied that his wife could understand the instructions, the farmer left for town.
That afternoon, the 'Inseminator' arrives, and the wife dutifully takes him out to the barn and directly to the stall with the nail.  "This is the cow right here," she tells him.
"What's the nail for?" the guy asks.
The wife replies, "I guess its to hang up your pants."

What me Worry?
Fresh out of business school, a young man answered a want ad for an accountant.  Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself.
"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said.  "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"Excuse me?" the accountant said.
"I worry about a lot of things," the man said.  "But I don't want to have to worry about money.  Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."
"I see," the accountant said.  "And how much does the job pay?"
"I'll start you at eighty thousand."
"Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed.  "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"
"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."

Something like this worked in Florida  Thanks to John Laubscher.
Dear State Lottery Commission, I know I chose the winning numbers for Wednesday's Lotto drawing.
But upon further review, it appears the incorrect numbers appeared on my ticket.  How could this happen?  The root cause of this dilemma is the form I filled out to get my ticket.  The form is very confusing.  I thought I was choosing one set of numbers, (the winning numbers), when in reality I chose a completely different set of numbers.  The numbers and boxes on the form are so close together, it's impossible to determine which box to fill in for which number.
I checked with at least 3,000 other people, and they all had the exact same problem.  I'm sure if you review the form I filled out, it will become very clear that I'm entitled to the money from Wednesday's drawing.
Please reply with the date, time, and location, for me to collect the winnings due to me.
Thank you for your assistance in this matter.
John J. Laubscher

Technology gone south.
The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew.  The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically.  The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats.
The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," a voice intoned.  "Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully computerized airliner.  Everything on this aircraft is run electronically.  Just sit back and relax.  Nothing can go wrong ...  Nothing can go wrong...nothing can go wrong...."

More election fallout.  Thanks to Skip and Linda Frye
London, 8 November 2000.
To the citizens of the United States of America, Following your failure to elect a President of the USA to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume a monarch's duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with the following acts:
1.  Look up "revoke" in a dictionary
2.  Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God save the Queen"
3.  Start referring to "soccer" as football
4.  Declare war on Quebec Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be contacting you shortly to ensure the acquisiton of all revenues due (backdated to
1776).
Thank you for your cooperation and...have a nice day!

I can picture it.
The first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented with their desk computers.  One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure how to get the computer going.  The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen.  In her most reassuring voice, she said, "The computer wants to know what your name is." Then she walked over to the next child.
The boy leaned toward the screen and whispered, "My name is David."

More cute kid stuff  Thanks to Bill Hamm via Bud Casselberry.
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES...
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked
them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
Their insight may surprise you.
Better to be safe than....................Punch a 5th grader
It's always darkest before............... Daylight Savings
You can lead a horse to water but.........how?
Don't bite the hand that................. looks dirty
If you lie down with dogs, you'll.........stink in the morning
Happy the bride who.......................gets all the presents
Don't put off till tomorrow what..........you put on to go to bed
Children should be seen and not...........spanked or grounded
You get out of something what you.........see pictured on the box
And the favorite...Better late than............pregnant

OK! That's a Wrap.  See ya next week!
I hope you enjoyed this communication and can attend one or more of the sessions scheduled for
this week.
 
 
 
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